Taking the Easy Way Out

It seems like nowadays, there’s an “out” for every instance.

The flavor of they day is, “If you aren’t happy, make a change”….

Well, that’s all well and fine.  But sometimes the fallout is greater than the quick decision to cut and run.

Sure, everyone wants to quit at SOME time in their lives.  And sometimes, there is very little cost.  But other times, there is a deferred cost…that will affect the rest of your life…

Feeling sentimental, because my oldest just graduated high school, I can’t help but look back and reflect on her life and the choices we made.  Her life went in a direction I NEVER pictured when she was born.

But to be honest, I’m not a forward thinker, so I had no pre conceived notions….I was just happy to have a cherub cheeked baby with gorgeous eyes and a beautiful smile, who was healthy and happy.  We were blessed.

One day a friend suggested I put my 3-year-old in dance class.  I thought, “what the heck” and I went out and bought her the wrong shoes and put her in class…..

As any three-year old would have it, one day my daughter decided she didn’t want to go to class.  I told her that was fine, but she HAD to get dressed in her dance clothes, and go to class and tell the teacher HERSELF, that she didn’t want to dance.  So she got dressed and we went down and my daughter talked to the teacher, who had compassion, and then convinced my daughter to go to class that day… and THAT…defined our lives for the next 14 years.

My daughter went from a combo Class to other fun classes, to an Elite program, to competitive dance, and just graduated, an advanced dancer at her school.  It literally defined her skills, her life lessons, her friends, her discipline and her ability to deal with all personalities, giving her a great edge on life as she moves forward to college.

It’s kind of a fun analogy, because life is a dance.  It offers so many opportunities, so many personalities, so many ups and downs and it’s never the same.

If I had let my daughter stay home that day from dance, she may have never gone back.  But in forcing her to be accountable for her actions, she was helped into making a great decision that shaped the course of her life.

I’m not writing this to say I’m a great mom.  Trust me, I’m not.  I’m scarring my kids every day, and they will let me know how later…

What I’m trying to say, is every decision we make directly or indirectly impacts our future.

I’m going to change directions here and talk about adult relationships for a second…(or longer….)

I have been married for 19 yrs (together almost 23).  Let me tell you…there is a LOT of work put into those 23 years.  My hubs and I have a TOTALLY different way of communicating, and we didn’t read books to figure each other out.  We fought a LOT, hated each other, eventually communicated and came back together… again and again and again!!!

There were times I wanted O.U.T. OUT!!!  I couldn’t stand his tone, the condescension, the disdain…  He resented me because I was home with the kids,  and I resented him because he “got” to go to work (I gave up a good job at Toshiba to stay home).

To put it blunt… WE.HAD.ISSUES….

And guess what… WE STILL DO!!!

We should have been divorced years ago, but we are actually pretty good together at the end of the day.  He’s organized and methodical, and I’m more heartfelt and compassionate.  When it comes to raising our girls, they have Yin and Yang.

It would have been easy so many times to just “tap out” and leave.  But the fallout would be great in the ripple effect of life…

Sometimes I feel like people take the quick and easy and forget about the long haul…

Back in the day…food came from what was grown and harvested… Things back in the day were 100% hands on.  It seems with every passing hear, more people are taking their hands off and letting the chips fall where they may.  More people live under the guise of victim or blame and fewer people live under grit and determination.

We are becoming a weaker human.  We helicopter parent our kids and do everything we can to make sure they don’t fall, and in that, we do them a disservice and short them the chance to recover and grow.

We become disenchanted with our other half and decide to move on, not realizing if you work through, you might become the power couple that inspires others.

I’m not saying that the hubs and I are a power couple, because we aren’t!  But we have worked hard to get where we are today, and I think when we smile at each other it’s a little richer, because we really earned the moment.  I can look at him from across the room and know whether he’s loving the moment or faking it til it’s time to leave.  He can look at me and know my anxiety is too much, and give me a quick exit.  We have learned over the years, what makes each other tick as well as what buttons to push when we want a response.

I challenge you to do the work.  Suffer through a few uncomfortable moments and see what comes out on the other side.  (this NEVER includes an abusive relationship, so please read with a grain of salt).

Life is short, but the rewards are great when we push through the uncomfortable.  I believe I have said it before, that I’d rather have the valleys (from time to time) to appreciate the peaks.  Sometimes you have to dig through the trenches and come out the other side victorious….

Don’t be so quick to throw in the towel.  Your decision may be easy…but the fallout may be great.  Think it through, and don’t be afraid to fight for the greater good!