Moments of Failure

Life is a journey indeed… And we have the power to choose our journey…

But what I have found…is…it’s called a “journey” for a reason…

I think if most of us had our way, we would choose the straight path. The one from “decision to accomplishment”….wouldn’t that be nice…  We make up our mind, accomplish what we want and move on…

But how often does it really work that way?  And why can’t it be so easy?

There are so many factors that go into accomplishment…and rarely is it ever a straight line.

What a bummer…life would be so easy….if only.….

I had a huge disappointment today…after 3 years of practicing…I failed…. AGAIN. And it really hurt.   I HATE FAILING!

But as I sat in my disappointment I wondered…would I hate complacency more?

I’m going to say it again… Life is a JOURNEY!!!

Let’s look at Thomas Edison…inventor of the lightbulb… Thomas A. Edison Quotes, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won‘t work.”

BRILLIANCE…..A journey…

We live in a day of entitled people.  For whatever reason, the work ethic has dissipated over the decades of our lives.  People hate failure, and many quit after little application’…  But to what end?

I would love to live a life of no failure…but I believe it’s safe to say that a life with no failure is a life with no growth…

As far as I can look back, I can recall failure in my life, be it big or small… Let’s talk GPA’s…  My high school history is a book unto itself… My GPA was low…I’m not sure how I  walked at graduation.  But somehow I managed the minimum requirements…literally…the minimum….

I remember my dad trying to figure out my future.  He was a well educated man..went to Carnegie Tech…  he wanted to be a doctor, but because he had a growing family he “settled” on being an engineer…

I literally acquired NONE of his smarts….

I remember sitting with him one day while he tried to help me through math… I couldn’t get it no matter how I listened.  Something about apples and oranges?  Once you put fruit in math, I was done.  It wasn’t happening for me….  Finally, out of frustration he asked, “are you stupid or something, why don’t you get this?”  (this is not verbatim, but close enough).  I was mortified… and it confirmed… something was DEFINITELY wrong with my brain, as Algebra came in as numbers and left as fruit… I was a blithering idiot….

I am pretty sure I failed the class, and after that went to remedial math just so I could graduate.

Years later (and I mean DECADES later), it dawned on me… my dad wasn’t trying to be a condescending ass… it’s just that math was SO easy to him that he had NO comprehension that someone couldn’t get it…. and that was where my journey began.

I had to fight the years of idiocy to realize that we were just different.  I couldn’t understand math any more than he could understand how I can read people like a map….

and here’s the irony…

My dad introduced me to photography, the very business that I run today.  He bought me my first camera at 12 years old.  He taught me to shoot, develop film, develop prints and eventually, I learned to  build a business… HE…is the one responsible at the start…

But as I reflect on what I have learned, I can guarantee you…if he had a camera right next to me and we both used our cameras today…his would be from a mechanical view and mine would be from an artistic view…

Photography is VERY mathematical.  My dad would have nailed every shot, mathematically, no doubt, because it comes down to lighting and numbers and mechanics, if you are shooting from the camera’s perspective….

But my life is in my heart.  My photography comes from a whole different angle.  I have learned what settings to use based on lighting, but if you ask me to calculate it…I’d be lost… I’d rather get caught up in the moment of the rim light, and the candid laughter… the way someone runs their hand through their hair when they talk or tell a story…  the quiet smirk in the knowing moment….

Am I better than my dad in photography?  Or, is he better than me?  It all comes down to perspective, I would guess…

I had a really tough day today.  It didn’t go as I hoped or worked toward.   And I worked HARD toward this day.

But when I think about my dad and his approach vs mine in life… I have to remember, there is a happy medium.  A “he said/she said” approach to life.

Perfection is a fallacy in my world.  I’d much rather use the word progress than perfection, any day of the week … Thomas Edison is a great example of what we want vs what we achieve.

I have been a photographer over 20 years… and I still get nervous every time I shoot.  I want my math to equate to fruit every time…and so far, I have been successful, just don’t ask me to write it down.

It’s a reminder to me on many levels that my dad was right with his mechanics..and I was right with my gut. It’s a great recipe….

And for those who want to judge my dad for his words…he apologized to me for trying to instill his beliefs on my abilities.   He saw through my achievements that his way wasn’t necessarily the right way for everyone.  He realized it was possible for the brain to meet the heart in the middle.  And my dad had heart for sure.  He just showed it in different ways.

Don’t take your failures as the end… Take them as a moment for growth.  Reflect on what was done and be open to what could be done better.

I cried for my failure today, but in truth, it wasn’t a total loss.  There WAS growth in my sadness.  And I will come back stronger.

I would NEVER want a straight line success.  How boring would that be?  We need to fail to see where we can grow.  I’m thankful for my dad and his compassion, love and his ability to make me reflect on how I could be a better human being!

Get knocked down 9 times and come up 10!