New Year, New you … 2025 edition

Well, it’s New Years day…. The time of year that we put the old to rest and promise life anew!  Most of us don’t really follow through on it…at least not for more than 6 weeks, but the intention is there so we make the promises to ourselves, dive in and hope for the best…

I don’t do New Year resolutions anymore per se… meaning I don’t say, “I’m gonna lose 50lbs this year” (even though I totally should)… I have found that resolutions are more or less the hopes for our future.  Or hopes to improve upon our future.

Hopefully with every year you get better.  But the fact of the matter is, life has a way of beating the shit out of us without our approval and we have to learn to roll with the punches.  And lets face it…some of those punches are hard to recover from …

If you have followed me at all in the last few years, I have had a few serious gut punches which include the loss of two maternal fixtures in our lives; my mother and my mother in law.  I also lost two good friends to alcohol and almost lost my marriage … but that’s a post for another day…

Recovering from any one of those could be hard, but recovering from all of them in a short span of time is damn near paralyzing.  I tell people I cry a lot but most have no idea just how much because I always show up with a smile and carry on like life is great.  And it is for the most part … but when your soul is trying to heal from things you can’t totally wrap your head around… let’s just say, it’s a LOT!!

This last year, 2024, has been a huge year of trying to find myself and figure out how to heal from the various layers of pain.  I have had a shit ton of support – my friends and family will never know how they helped me get through these moments.  Even just texting and getting a response was huge at times.  But the hugs and conversations and the allowance to be vulnerable without having to apologize was HUGE …

My mom used to say, “Sweeten your words with sugar, because you may have to eat them some day”….BOY was she right.  Thanks to this piece of information and my ability to reflect, I have learned to be slower to judge and to remember that everyone is fighting their own battles that we know nothing about.  So we should practice kindness and compassion.

This last year, I had the opportunity to take a solo road trip up the 395 and go where I wanted, when I wanted and get to my destination at leisure.  I took a few days up and a few days back home.  Along the way I met so many wonderful people; one of which was a 62 yr old single full time RVer.  I stopped to make sure she was okay (she was in a Jeep wrangler, I was in a Jeep wrangler) and she said “YES” she was fine.  As we chatted, we were both heading up the same road, but I was getting ready to turn around because the end of that road was a dead end.  She told me there was a wonderful waterfall at the end so we went up together.  I spent the next few hours with this lady and we quickly became friends.   I almost stayed in town another day, but had to get going as I was on a timeline.  I met so many amazing people along the way, I really could write a short story on my adventure… Suffice it to say, people asked why I would travel “alone” and I told them I was never alone.  I met people all along the way and if I was driving, I was in contact with friends and family letting them know of my adventures along the way.  People are amazing!  Everyone just wants to be seen and heard (even the introverts, don’t let them fool you).  The best part of my trip is that with each interaction, it was positive reinforcement that we are never alone.

In recent years I have stopped writing.  My soul wasn’t into it and my concentration was lacking to say the least.  But going back to intentions for 2025, I will come back to my passion of writing, even if it’s under 500 words at a time.  I don’t know if anyone reads my writings so I am writing for me, and one day when I am gone, these words will be here for my children to read, if they are so inclined.

We all have a story to tell that is uniquely our own.  If we all wrote our life stories I think you would be astounded to see how many are exactly the same, only with different characters.  We are all just trying to do the best we can to make the most of what we have and hopefully become just a little better with each growing year.

When you get to my age, you tend to look at things a little different.  Things that used to be taken for granted (health) now become a little more front seat … and things I used to care WAY too much about (what others think of me) dissipate.  Time is now way more valuable and those I love are more precious to me.

I’m grateful for the wisdom and given the loss of family and friends this last two years I am seeing things through a new lens.  I will be shrinking my availability to things that can do without me.  I will give more to those that need me and that includes my own damn self.  This last year I have neglected myself a lot.  I have lost sense of who I am and what I want to be, but as the fog of 2024 lifts and shows way to 2025, I will be taking small steps toward being who I want to be again.  My first goal of the year is to write a list of characteristics I want to embody most.  From there, I will make a plan (in very small increments) to dig my way back to the surface.

I have heard there is no time limit on grief and I do believe this to be true.  But sometimes we have to bounce back in the middle of our heartbreak and we have to be a little more present to those around us who deserve our time.  My husband has done a lot of heavy lifting in our family this last year and I’m so grateful to him for that.  I don’t know how he does it, but I’m thankful for his patience while I go through all the things that he has to put up with.

So….2025…here we are… we are gonna do this together, for better or for worse, it’s time to start showing up, at the very least for myself.  The rewards will slowly bleed into the other parts of my life and eventually, we will all win.

Here is to another year…another chance at a fresh start where you can take charge however you see fit.  Make it a good one!

Happy New Year!