YOU train people how to treat you!!!!! (train them well!)

Okay, I’m gonna have it out!  I have had a few friends this week tell me situations that TOTALLY sucked for them.  But when I dissected the series of events that led up to it, I realized their plight was completely avoidable.

But in both cases, it was easier to concede than to argue.

Well congratulations you two; you just trained your opponent how to treat you.  You made them realize if they just push a little harder, or cry or whine a little more, then you will buckle like a baby.

This is not criticism.  This is FACT!!!

And if you think I am talking about parents and kids in both instances…..you are wrong!

Everyone we come across learns how to treat us.  I have joked before that I’m like Ella Enchanted.  (and for those of you who haven’t seen it, “Ella” is bound by a curse when someone asks her to do something she does it!)  I’m not her 100% of the time; but my daughter complained we had nothing salty in the house and by the time she came home she had plenty!!!

Every person you interact with is learning you.  If they are manipulative; they are learning how to push your buttons.

Now, I know that not everyone is manipulative, but even if they aren’t they are learning their boundaries.  And if they are a kid, the are learning how to make you buckle…….

I’m going to (kind of) throw my husband under the bus here for a second; because this is an age-old argument we have with the girls.  With all his years of music and loudness, he has never learned the skill of tuning things out!

So when the girls came along and they started asking for stuff (as soon as they could talk), like buckets of candy, or whatever, if we said “No!”  They would whine louder.  And if we repeated our “No”; they got even louder or more insistent.  But this time, my husbands blood pressure rises, so his coping mechanism was to simply, “Just give it to them so they will be quiet!!!!”

So, there we have two “No’s” and a firm YES!

Who do you think the girls learned to go to when they want something?  The person who breaks down the fastest!
BOOM…..TRAINED!!!!

His “immediate fix” turned the kids into a bit of a nightmare.  Because now, they know that at some point…..daddy will buckle.  The question becomes, “How FAST can we make dad buckle?”

And guess what; they don’t care how many “No’s” they here, there is a “JUST GIVE IT TO THEM” down the road, waiting in all its glory.  He was quick to give in to the instant; but didn’t realize the LIFE LONG journey he would have living under their thumbs! (you know I’m right)

Well, guess what; it works on adults too.

I have a group of friends and based on my issue in life is who I am going to call!!! I have friends who are good at listening; some are good at commiserating; one is really good at justifying; and one is good at giving me solutions.  That’s my short list.

If you keep running into the same problem again and again with people and it’s not working for you…..change what you are doing! Because you are training them that their bad behavior is acceptable in your eyes!

We’ve all had moments of weakness.  But be mindful of the common denominator…….YOU!!!

That’s all I got!!!