You know…there are days I wonder how I got where I am.

Life is a long road of twists and turns and ups and downs and sometimes ad nauseam… but we persevere.

Growing up in my house there was a lot of chaos. I would like to say it was a peaceful upbringing, but that would be a lie…and I’m not a liar.

I have four siblings, all so different from me. For so many years I thought myself the “dumb” one. As I watched my siblings, I felt they all had a purpose..and I didn’t. I know I have written about this before, but as I grow and learn, more stuff comes forward in my brain. I think about children growing up today and I hear their struggles and they are the same…only different…base on the times and the challenges of the day. But the truth is…childhood is a small slice of hell for some and they don’t know how to overcome it. These are the children I can understand…at least on some level.

Every generation has its challenges. Every child has their struggles…and every parent as it were.

If you grew up in the “Leave it to Beaver” age, you were screwed from the get go. But to be honest, any show on TV in those days and for a few decades beyond touted the same story… “Family connected with minor and fixable issues”…

I’m literally rolling my eyes and furrowing my brows as I write that. I can’t even with those people during those times.

But to fast forward in to todays world with todays technology… Good God In HEAVEN, hold on to your seatbelts.

I am thankful my girls kind of skirted through the cell phone age. They still had it, but they danced a lot and where latent in learning about all the CRAP that is on cell phones.

THAT SAID…they have been affected.

My girls are literally adults now. I hear stories from them on what they have been exposed to…and it’s REALLY sad…

A few weeks ago as I was cleaning and purging my office, I found a few boxes with old love letters. And I mean ACTUAL letters that were handwritten by my ex boyfriends from High School…

(if you know who you are…ya…I got your letters).

I didn’t realize all the old letters that I had, but apparently, based on what I found, I am thinking…ALL OF THEM…..

I won’t lie. It was really fun revisiting this time of my life. My very first boyfriend wrote me a letter and I actually read it to my daughter who listened intently as her jaw dropped with each word…

I still laugh hearing her ask how old we were and WHO WRITES LIKE THAT???

But WE did… WE wrote like that and it was IN WRITING on pen and paper with feelings. And it was WONDERFUL…

I wish kids of today knew what it was like to receive a note from their significant other… but in todays world…it’s likely a snapchat…(don’t get me started on the contents here)….

My whole point in writing all this was simply about where we are and how we got where we are in life. I’m leaps and bounds from any aspirations I deemed possible. As I have (now) adult children, I’m forced to face where I am more than ever, because the next question for myself is “what now?”. But the simple truth is, I have already received more than I ever thought for myself. I didn’t allow myself much forethought in my life. Yet here I am.

With these kids in this pandemic, life may seem bleak.. but given time, you will see more than you thought possible.

Life is full of Ebb and flow. Don’t let your life stop with all the pauses…be ready for the leaps.