Where to give?

Tis the season to be jolly, fa la la la la la la la la…….

Fa la la la la la la….. hmmmm….  I see a lot of “fa” (if you know what I mean) but not a lot of La la la…..

It’s crazy time right now.  Freeways are jammed, parking lots are full, people are rushing like chickens with their heads cut off…. Oh…. wait… that’s just California life…..

Let me rephrase…. The Christmas rush has amplified that of our daily existence.  Everything right now is just…well…MORE!  More sales, more shopping, more lists to fulfill, more people to give to.  And this is the time of year that we actually WANT to give.  We have been conditioned from a young age to give until your credit cards are maxed!  Oh…I mean until your hearts are full!

The reason I don’t dig this season it because it’s all too much!  If we really loved each other, we’d give all year, and Christmas would just be a day to celebrate our Lord and savior Jesus Christ!

Only this time of year, the way you hear Jesus Christ isn’t always affiliated with our Lord and Savior.   ANNNDDDD that’s where you lose me!

I get frustrated, because all through the year, we make frugal choices on how to spend our money.  I’m gonna start with the school year, in August. From the time our kids were in Pre School, there were fundraisers coming out the wazzoooo….. and back then, we were happy to hand our money over because our kids, who were the CUTEST human beings on this earth, NEEDED the money for their school and by golly, we parents were gonna make it happen!!!

…..Fast forward 15 years…..

I’m fundraised OUT!  There just are NO MORE FUNDS TO RAISE!!!  Well, there are, but I’m tired of pushing the dead donkey around the street to see what it can come up with.  So my “fundraising” glasses have changed their focus a bit.

The truth is, EVERYONE needs money!  EVERYONE.  Schools, art programs, kids, senior citizens, hospitals, animals, vegetables, minerals…  There’s no stone unturned in the “need” department.

And this time of year, EVERY NEEDING CREATURE comes out of the crevices to pull at the heartstrings of every giving and loving person to “give just a little more”….  And the bottom line is, it’s hard to know who to trust!!

Just tonight I was at the ATM depositing money.  Hard earned money that I have spent years working toward in my job.  My body has taken a serious toll from working and stressing about my business.  I’m tired.  Happy….but tired.  And as I’m making my deposit, a teen boy comes in my vicinity and asks for money for food…. And I told him I didn’t have any….. and then it happened…. Good old fashioned Catholic Guilt…..

Truth is, I did have a few dollars on me, but as I’m standing at the ATM, a place where I can get robbed, I gave the quickest answer I possibly could because my fear of death is greater than my guilt of lying to this kid.  But after I made my deposit, I decided I was going to go and look for him and throw him a buck.

But then something inside me asked, “WHY”?  And I went over in my mind what this kid was wearing.  He had a hoodie and a skateboard.  Then I thought, I wanted to talk to him and ask him WHY he needs money for food and find out his story.

I thought I saw him off in the distance and so I got in my car to drive in the general direction.  I had to go to another store (yes I drove to the other store, but it was a big parking lot and I had to pick up my child quickly, so lets just leave it at that). I parked my car and didn’t see him, so  I went into the store to grab what I needed.  As I headed up the isle and looked for the cheapest option for what I needed, I thought to myself how hard I work for my money.  Not that I’m opposed to sharing, because I give often.  I just give to causes where I know for certain my money is going.

There are far too many stories of people who are panhandling and then they leave their squatters spot to get in to their nice cars and drive off into the sunset.

TOO MANY STORIES……

So the bottom line is I just don’t trust people anymore.

As I came out of the store with my bag in my hand, I passed another “homeless” person who was sitting on the ground outside the store.  I didn’t even answer his request.  And to be honest, I had no guilt at this point, because I realized that I just can’t give it all away.  There will be another around the corner waiting for more!

Now all that said, I’m not a total Scrooge.  After my family had gotten robbed, I went to pick up my police report and handed $5 to a smelly guy who wasn’t even asking.  I didn’t think twice.  And  Irecently gave a ‘homeless’ person a gift card to Wendy’s so she could eat.  And I asked no questions.  I happily handed it to her and left without wondering for one second if she really needed it.  To me, that is giving.

I don’t want to hand over my hard earned money and spend my time wondering if ‘they’ really needed it.

When I donate, I want to be able to hand it over and just walk away.  I need to not have guilt that I have to say no sometimes.  Because people DO take advantage.  And the few have ruined it for the masses.

And most importantly, I need to give to my family.  Not talking just money in this case… but my important decisions should always have their best interest at heart.  And balancing those decisions starts at home.

Here’s to giving from the heart and for the right reasons!  May you have a most blessed and peaceful holiday!