When you give more than you recieve

There is a true balance to life.  I have seen it time and again… down to the very basics of nature… flora and fauna, sunrise and sunset, yin and yang…. you name it.. balance is everything….

Today I was watching a show and I don’t know why, but something hit me square in the face…

As I sit back and evaluate my life, I realize that life is very much give and take.  We all know the givers and we all know the takers… But WHEN do you realize that the balance is either working… or it isn’t?

Over the course of my life, I have often wondered about people.  You can’t deny that every single person you meet in your life has some ounce of who you are and what you become.

Only in recent years, I found a friend who I met in elementary school, and I don’t know what happened to her after that, but I never forgot her.  And then I found her on facebook…and she friended me back.  Maybe she remembered me and maybe I made an impact on her life.  ….or maybe she just hit “confirm friend” because she wasn’t paying attention….

It happens.  We let go, we let in….

But my question to you is… what is the COST?

WHAT??   The COST??

OMG your HIGH… what do you mean, the COST??  I merely hit CONFIRM!!!  It’s not big deal!

………… it’s….just…..another….person……..

………………….

And so it goes.

We let another one in to our lives and our world….and for what?  To appear bigger?  To appease ourselves that we are awesome?

WHAT?  And WHY????

As I was watching my weird show tonight I had some “friends” pop into my mind.  I don’t know why they popped into my mind, but they did.  And for a moment, my heart swooned, and I thought, OMG they were so awesome.  I’m so glad we keep in touch!!  I love knowing about their lives because we came from way back when…….

way back…. ummmmm…. hmmmm…. wait …WHAT?

As I pondered past “friendships” I reflected on my life and their place in it, and I realized, that all the efforts of ‘said’ friendship kind of came from one direction…. and that would be…

MY DIRECTION……

As I reflected back on the year of ‘connection’ I realized that the road kind of only went one way… And that was in the way of my nostalgia….. and hope that I meant something in their world like they meant in mine.

………crickets come in right about now……….

I don’t know why it hit me between the eyes tonight, but I had a moment of realization that I put a helluva lot more importance on my history and the relations of such time…than those who surrounded me that I happen to put on a pedestal…..

What I realized tonight was that in all honesty….SOME PEOPLE JUST DON’T CARE!!!!

And that’s TOTALLY OKAY!!!!

I just happen to operate on a different level that doesn’t resonate with them.  To some, I’m someone who has to remind others who I was in their lives.  Only, I don’t really remember who I was in their lives.  Not all the time, anyways…..

So I stopped and asked myself why I feel the need to pursue those that don’t remember???

And here’s my answer that came loud and clear……

I…….

Don’t…..

KNOW!!!!!!!!!

But for some reason I just do!

Call me sentimental.

Ridiculous…

DEFUNCT…….

But it’s just me….

I realize that life is short, and that we ALL play SOME roll in someone else’s life and we DO make an impact.  For better or worse…we all make an impact on each other and some of us DO remember and we carry that through life.  Like it or not, our actions make an impact!

Like a drop in the still waters….the ripple effect goes on and on….

So, for better or worse, if you know me, and I remember you…you are screwed!  I will find you!  I will friend you!  And if I do… please know that you were a drop in the still waters of my life.  I may not remember everything, but I remember SOME things…  And those things are the sum of what  have become in my life.

And if you impacted me…you impacted others.

I just hope that it was for the greater good of people, and not because you were  a jerk.

That said, I wasn’t perfect either.  And I cringe to think what my drop in the still waters looked like as it rippled away…..

Whatever the case, just remember to be kind and know that your actions matter and can help contribute to, or contaminate the development of another….

I hope it’s the former rather than latter of the two….