This week I’ve had a few conversations with my mom friends about their mothering skills. As a mom, I worry about this myself. And truth be told; if you are a GOOD mom, you question yourself frequently!

There is no real guide that tells us how to be right. I often tell my kids that I will screw them up and they will let me know how later!! Every kid does it and every mom is to blame! Right???

I know I’m not alone in this!

So many nights I go to bed thinking; “WHERE could I have improved?”
And rarely do I come up with a good answer.

Well it’s no coincidence that I have had couple of interactions with moms on their parenting skills. And I’m so passionate about this, I feel the need to address it.

There is no “Right” kind of mom. We all do the best we can. I have yet to meet a mom that is hell-bent on screwing up their kid. More often than not, it happens because we don’t have the guide book to raise them ‘properly’. (And if we do find a guidebook, it’s out dated and no one told us!!)

I constantly worry that I’m not giving enough time to my kids. I’m busy and struggling to make a business happen. The fact that I even have this business to focus on is a huge gift; because the alternative is I work 9-5 and my kids’ lives would be totally different than what they are! But as it is, my current situation gives them the life they have. And if you ask me, it’s more than many kids have, as it gives them opportunities that many other kids will never see, so I have to be okay with it!

My schedule affords my kids the ability to go to dance and focus on something greather than themselves; which is huge!!

I have been to the mall and seen kids outside, clearly killing time because they have nothing else to do! Their sheer persona looks like trouble waiting to happen!

My kids, on the other hand have school, homework, and dance. A full schedule. And their grades reflect they are managing all quite well.

And though I worry about the “me time” they want, I realize if my life were different, they would have even less of me. And the ‘me’ that they would have would be stressed out and miserable.

As mothers (and parents) we all do the best we can. We give what we have and we give all that we have. But sometimes it just doesn’t feel like enough. Sometimes we question ourselves and wonder, “What if I changed this, or didn’t do that….I’d be a better parent”. But when you look at all the variables, chances are we are giving all that we have.

Kids hardly understand what we parents go through to give them the life they have. They don’t see the juggling of carpool, or the jobs we struggle with. They only see what they want to see. But a childs vision is very limited.
This week I saw a few kids who were stressed out because their parents “fell short”. But as a parent myself, I saw exactly what was happening….. The parent was busy making things happen with their jobs, and their kids had their own visions of what was important. I spent a few minutes of my day talking one child down. Because her vision was very short sighted. It was driven by sheer emotion. While the parent’s view was purely of fact.

Children want what they want. Pure and simple. They get their sights set and BOOM….it must be done. But a parent sees beyond that. They see a much bigger picture which the children aren’t yet ready to see.

And that is where the disconnect starts…… Kids feel slighted and parents feel like failures…

But the bottom line is this….Parents are parents for a reason. They are there to guide there children. NOT give them everything they want. Yet some confuse this. My mom’s mom always had a saying, “Spoil your children at home and you’ll have to deal with them in public later”. GOSH this is so true!!! I have seen countless children who are spoiled by their parents. The kids act out in public and the parents are put on the spot. It rarely ends well……

But the truth is; to raise a child you need a village. I actually have quite a large village built for my kids. And I am truly blessed in this.

I’m not the best mom; but my village is awesome!! I’m not perfect, I never profess to be. But I look around at all the moms that surround my kids and I frequently think to myself; I’m covered!!!

I let my kids know regularly; “If you can’t talk to me, you are welcome to talk to any of these other moms that I have in my arsenal.”

I have one mom who I love listening to. And if my kid has a crisis and runs to her, I’m okay with that, because I trust her implicitly!!

Sometimes we can’t give everything to our kids. But in all honesty; I don’t think we are meant to work that way!! We don’t have to be our kids friend! We are there to protect our children as fiercely as we possibly can. And if that means creating a village to cover our own weaknesses….then so be it!

Life isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being wise. Use what you have. I love all my girlfriends and I honestly can say you are all amazing moms. You give everything you have to your children. And where you are weak; your village is there to pick up the slack. As it should be. Don’t berate yourelf for what you lack. You are strong and you have great friends to have your back!!

Don’t ever doubt that you are doing the best you possibly can. And if you do….then that makes you better than you think!!!

Happy Sunday!