Have you ever felt pulled to something over and over again? You try to ignore it, but eventually you are there again???
Last night I was messing around with my dog. She is a bit of a nut. But one thing she absolutely LOVES….is to ‘find’ you!
If you bury yourself in a blanket and call her name; she will dig and dig until she finds the slightest crevice or crack in the blanket – and she will burrow her way in and lick your face in victory! It’s the cutest and most annoying thing ever!! (Only because I don’t like being licked by dogs).
Well, last night, as I lay on the floor, I was face down, and burying my face in between my arms. My dog went WILD trying to ‘find’ me. And when she did – the look of contentment on her face was her victory. Her sense of purpose – complete.
We didn’t realize it when we got her, but she is a bird dog. In Japan, they had Shiba Inu “Bush Dogs” to go into bushes and unbury they ‘kill’, aka birds.
This instinct is so inbred in my dog; that a simple blanket can serve as a bush…and your face – the bird!
We think it is the funniest thing. Chris will grab the girls and hide under the biggest blanket we have and call her out in the house, no matter where she is. If she hears her name being called; and she doesn’t see you….she will ‘find’ you at any expense.
Playing with her last night, kind of got me thinking about my own purpose. As yesterday was 9-11; I watched a show about a man who was unburied from the rubble of the Twin Towers. Somehow in the collapse of the building – he survived a 15 story drop with minor injuries. The situation was miraculous. But his understanding of it wasn’t.
He was ridden with survivors guilt. He wondered why HE was chosen to live, while so many perished.
In all our minds, I honestly believe we aren’t expected to ‘know’ the answer. But it is our job to ‘find’ the answer.
Some are automatically driven in life. They know what they want. Maybe they were born with natural GPS systems.
But for many of us; we aren’t sure. So it’s more of a journey.
My honest belief in life is we are all here for a reason. I look for reason all the time.
The best I can tell about myself is I want people to know they are not alone. So I write every awful detail of my life so someone – ANYONE can relate and feel a sense of camaraderie. And what I have found is I’m kind of rare. Most people are content concealing bits and pieces of themselves out of preservation or fear. And I’m okay with that. Sometimes I wish I had a closet to hide in. But I don’t. I share and over share until it makes people uncomfortable.
But not everyone is built that way.
Everyone has their own special gifts. Their reasons for being.
Just as my dog feels the innate need to ‘unbury’ me – we all have something that is uniquely ours.
I have always had the desire to write. It comes easy to me – but I never did it, because I didn’t feel I had every journalistic detail down. From about the age of 12, I had the feeling I would write a book about my experiences in life. But I was ‘lacking’ so to speak, and so I never followed through.
Finally, just over a year ago, I decided to throw my thoughts onto a blog and let ‘er rip. Throw caution to the wind and say what’s on my mind.
Is it the book I always dreamed of? No… not even close. But once I let go of my ‘perfect’ expectations; I never looked back. I have written over 550 blog entries. And the response has been better than I ever imagined.
I finally let go of the perfect scenario and did what was in my heart.
I’m no Erma Bombeck. But the result has been most beneficial to me as a human being, because my ability to sift things in my mind has become much easier. And the camaraderie has been amazing.
Sometimes things don’t turn out like we expect. But if you truly take the time to listen to your soul and respond to its desires…. the benefits outweigh the risks.
Life isn’t perfect. It’s a journey.