Today is Thanksgiving.  It’s kind of weird, because usually we have Thanksgiving with my mom, but she flew north to be with my little brother.  I’m a little jealous.  Was totally invited; but with work and the girls having dance, it was too much of a stretch to make it happen.  Sooooo we are going it with the Cunningham’s this year.

We are so fortunate to have grandparents all around us for our kids.  I never had that, so it’s a true blessing.  Chris talked about moving a few years ago and I told him that it isn’t an option while we have grandparents for our kids.  I don’t care if we have to live in a box to stay in the area!!!

Thankfully; the move was just a thought.  Not that I wouldn’t like to move at some point.  There are so many adventures in the world and most of us just stick to our 20 mile radius and never travel or experience the life outside our bubble.  But family is important – so here we are.

I sometimes wonder what constitutes a good healthy family life.  I know we all have our issues; but as a parent, I question myself constantly.  I see how my friends parent and I feel like I’m missing the point sometimes.

When my kids get to the age of 18; I want them to be self-sufficient.  I want them to be able to cook and clean (not that I’m the best at doing it, but I sure as heck know how).  I want them to be able to prioritize their lives, be good friends,  and aspire to something greater than themselves.  I also would like them to go to college and become something they love.

I don’t have a ton of time left with them and yesterday I realized I’m not really setting them up for success based on what I just wrote.

My sister has 5 children.  I think they are the way they are because there are 5 of them.  If you teach the first few correctly; then as the others follow behind them the elders can help them along the way.  And that is what she did.  She taught her first two to be self-sufficient and they were a big help as 3, 4 and 5 came along.  In 10 minutes of being in my house; they will have everything cleaned up and put away and ready to relax.

Yesterday I sat at my desk for probably 9 hours.  My back hurt, my neck hurt and my butt hurt from sitting so long.  I didn’t get up from my desk until 8pm.  When I came downstairs I wanted to grab a glass of water and just sit and watch a movie for a bit – hopefully with the kids.

But when I came downstairs; the dishes which have been let go for a few days were now over flowing OUT of the sink and for me to get a glass – I would have to wash it first.  Only I couldn’t find it in the pile.  So I started doing dishes.  As I was doing dishes, I was really sad that my girls hadn’t pitched in while I’m working so much harder.  They did so some chores, but nothing over the top (I like to call them minimalist) and I realized that while I am going to be so busy these next few weeks; I need extra help.

Now, I would like to take note that I don’t like this time of year ONLY for the fact that when my kids see me; it’s usually the back of my head, due to the fact that I have a super busy season with holiday sessions, card designs, gift orders etc…..

So to have them ‘get’ to see the front of my face and use it to put them to task doesn’t totally make me happy.  But I told them that while I’m working so much, I need their help.  I told them they part of their chores will be to start doing dishes.  Their faces fell….. (I don’t think I had to tell you that).

I asked them if they could dry and put away the big stuff while I filled the dishwasher; and we all worked diligently.  Within minutes, everything was done and we were able to sit and have a nice night together.

My main issue is I’m not consistent.  Did you know there is a fabulous website that helps with household chores??  It’s called Flylady.net.  They actually send you a ‘flight plan’ for the day so you can keep up on chores in a minimalist sort of way.  To date, I have seen the website a lot….and have yet to follow it.

The only thing I am consistent in….it being INconsistent.  And there is no flylady.net for that…….

If we were consistent then things like dishes wouldn’t be looked upon as a bad thing. It would just be something that is expected to  be done.  However, because we are not set up that way; I usually get resistance from the kids…and if you are a parent, or have ever raised children and you work all day and you are tired, the last thing you want is a fight for wanting them to do something.  SO I usually don’t ask.  BUT….there inlies the problem.  As a result, both hubby and I get frustrated, blow up and then cleaning becomes this terrible thing that is done under duress.

It’s  no wonder we are met with resistance.

But I digress……..  Today is Thanksgiving.  I am very thankful for my family.  I have two daughters with distinctly different personalities and I appreciate each one individually.  I have a husband who works hard for the family; two dogs who are always happy to see us. And I have a business that is going pretty well.  I have grandparents for my children.  And thankfully, we are all healthy.

I can look at the messy house any day.  Today I will look at my family and be grateful!!!

And as a side note; I want to send a shout out to the military who can’t be with their families.  I’m sending virtual hugs around the globe!!!!

Happy Thanksgiving