Ever drive somewhere and when you arrive, you don’t know how you got there?

I think it has happened to most of us at some point or another.  We become so good at multi tasking that we split our attention to more than one thing at a time.

Normally, that is a blessing.  But what I am finding with the modern-day convenience of Iphones and other electronic gadgets is that it is creating and inability to focus on just one thing at a time.  As I write; I am “watching” a movie.  And though I am grasping what is going on, I am cheating myself as far as connecting with the characters of the movie.

Do you remember the days before smartphones???  Are they REALLY so SMART???  YES, they can do things….but what are they costing us in the long run?

As the days go on, I find it hard to focus on a simple conversation.  My mind wanders to so many other tasks in my life that I can hardly give focus to that which is in front of me!

And i am not alone!  It is commonplace that people have a conversation with one in front of us while texting another, simultaneously.   and the worst part is, we justify that it is okay!!!

And the truth is..it is NOT!

Maybe it’s just me; but being otherwise occupied in the presence of a task or person is not a gift (even though I do it quite well).  It’s becoming a bit of a curse.

I’m noticing that having conversations with people is difficult at times.  I’m listening to them while literally thinking about something else.

I joke about “Squirrel” all the time; I’m in the middle of something and then, “SQUIRREL” off in a different direction.  And some think it’s funny.  But I’m beginning to wonder if it’s a brain tumor, or the fact that we are so multifunctional and i-crapped out that I’m literally training myself NOT to be able to focus on one thing at a time.

I gotta say…I don’t like it!

I was glancing at Facebook this morning and I got sad.  Though I love keeping contact with everyone; it’s more or less a time sucker.  And I cannot quantitatively say exactly how much time it has sucked from my life.  But I do know that because of it, I am way less productive.

(what could have been accomplished if Facebook were turned off???  What would I otherwise be doing if it weren’t available?)

My disadvantage is I work from home.  I don’t actually ‘see’ anyone other than my family.  And though I have MUCH to keep me busy, it doesn’t keep me connected.  And that’s a bummer.  So Facebook has been one way for me to stay connected.

But it’s still a time sucker.  And can certainly manage my time a bit better.

The downside comes when I’m out and DO have a chance to connect with others, yet I am checking my phone in the presence of another.

BAD BAD BAD……..

It’s time to start practicing undivided attention.  Focus on what is in front of me and give respect to who is present with me.    I think we would all be wise to start asking ourself; “What’s so important that you can’t put your phone down for a few minutes!”

It kind of breaks my heart.  We are becoming more self-obsessed and less connected.

I went to an eye doctor for years that was 20 miles away from my house.  The commute was awful, but I told myself it was only once a year. At first I went because he was referred and he was nice. But what kept me, I later realized, was that when I spoke to him, he stopped writing or doing what he was doing, and he looked at me while I asked a question; answered me completely, and then continued writing.  In a sense, he gave me better attention than even my best friend.  UNDIVIDED ATTENTION!!!!

And because of that we stayed for a long long time.  Only recently (because we don’t have insurance for eyes anymore) did we switch to a local (and cheaper) provider.  But the truth is, as soon as we get insurance, I’m going back to him.  He may be far, but his undivided attention and care is worth the trip once, or even twice a year.

It makes a difference.  You may think it doesn’t but it does.  To focus on someone makes them feel cared for.  And I apologize to those I have ‘dissed’ in the past.  I’m now realizing the cost.

And though I’m not promising 100% success, I promise 100% effort.  I’ll just need constant reminding.

Happy Thursday