When is enough too much?

Yesterday, I reamed a kid because I am tired of listening to his excuses.  Almost every day that I go pick up carpool, he has an excuse as to why he isn’t waiting for me!  And I’m not the only one who picks him up.  This morning I asked the other kids in the carpool, as we waited for him; “Does he make EVERYONE wait?”  Their answer was no surprisingly, “Yes!”

I mean, how disrespectful!!!

In the past, I have left to get other kids and came back, or called while sitting in front of his house, or even sent kids up to get him.  And after 2 years of carpool with this kid; you would think that EVENTUALLY, he will realize that SOMEONE is coming to get him between 8:05 and 8:13 every school day.  You would think, anyways!!!

Now the rule with these kids is to be ready and waiting so when we pull up, we don’t have to honk and disrupt the neighbors.  However, with this child, it’s  become a habit to just drive up and honk if I don’t see him in the window.  I remember one morning in particular I honked and he came out and said my horn scared his mom, because she was sleeping!

………………………………………………………………. and who’s fault would THAT be, I’m just curious?

As I waited yesterday out front with not one honk, but two AND a text message, he eventually sauntered out and as he got in the car his ‘excuse’ was, ‘Sorry….I was reading……’

I didn’t say anything at the time, as I was just biting my tongue.  But when drop off came and they were getting out of the car, he came up to the front seat and said, “I’m really sorry…..” and I stopped him (while speaking with my finger pointed at him), “I don’t care, I don’t care, I don’t CARE!  Stop it right now!”

And I went off……

I basically explained to him that when he gives his excuses for being late, he is basically telling everyone else that HIS excuse is more important than the other people waiting. He is ALSO disrespecting MY schedule as if I have all day to wait for him!   I told him everyone has excuses, but he is at an age where he has to start acting his more mature.  People will get sick of his excuses and eventually it’s going to bite him in the butt!

I said, when you apologize to me, that means that you will NOT repeat the same behavior.  But instead you are coming up with new excuses every time as if it’s the first time and first offense and I’m over it!

I said, “You AREN’T ever late for school are you?  NO!  Because there are consequences to that and it’s not acceptable!  Well, it’s not acceptable here either!”

At this point he started breaking down a bit and I told him that I really do love him and that he is a good kid and if I didn’t care, I wouldn’t say anything!  But he HAS to learn at some point that excuses aren’t doing anything but teaching others that he is full of it!

It was such a bummer that I got to this point with this kid, because he IS a good kid.   But it’s behavior that has gone on for MANY years and it’s just getting old!

I called one of the moms in the carpool to let her know I had this conversation.  And she was a little surprised (okay a lot surprised) at  how abrupt I was with him.  I told her that I didn’t have her finesse I just needed to get the job done.  I wanted to warn her in case there was any backlash, because to be honest, I am waiting for a phone call from the mom.

I’m ready.

I have yelled at a couple of kids in recent months.  I have told them all the same thing: I am yelling at you as if you are my own child.

My kids are held to a standard.  We do our best to make them respectful of others things and others time.  We teach them please and thank you and let them know how blessed they are to be surrounded by so many people who love them.

When I come across a child who disrespects another’s time, or property, I have no problem in ‘parenting’ them.

Nowadays many people are ‘friends’ with their kids and parenting takes a back seat.  If I said HALF the things I hear kids say to their parents; chances are my parents would have taken me out of this world for disrespect.

I try to remember that I will die someday and leave my kids to the world.  Did I teach them well?  Are they ready to handle life situations and be good caring people?

If I were their friend all the time I don’t think I would like the answer.  I have no problem with my kids hating me because I told them “NO”.  I don’t need to be their friend; they have friends.  I need to be their guide.  I use other people’s follies as lessons for my kids.  I want them to be aware of what is going on ‘out there’ so they can be prepared on some level to deal with it.

If you are a kid in my presence and I get to know you, be prepared to be parented by me.  And if I do, it’s because I love you and I see something better for you!  If I didn’t care, I would simply walk away.

And I don’t like to walk away!

Happy Saturday!