This afternoon, I am going out of my comfort zone. I’m heading up the hill to Arrowhead to spend the night with a bunch of girls; most whom I’ve never met! And I can’t wait!
I haven’t decided whether I will bring my computer or just wing it. I do have a bit of work to do, but it’s only one night, so I’m on the fence.
I’m going to my sister in laws cabin in the mountains. It’s a beautiful place and I can’t wait to smell the fresh air and let the snowy chill tickle my nose.
It’s hard to get away sometimes, but this was a last-minute add, because it sounded fun. I don’t know anyone I am going to meet, just my sister-in-law who I adore.
It sounds like it is going to be a very low-key night of visiting and vegging. I’m down with that.
I’m not sure if I’m driving alone or carpool; either is fine with me. I’m definitely bringing my camera and my music.
Scones are in the oven, and I haven’t yet decided if I’m going to make chocolate chip cookies. Depends on when I set myself out to leave today. The weather is clear, I just may take advantage and head out as early as possible.
It’s kind of weird going into a situation with strangers; but I just had a conversation with my little one yesterday about how feeling left out is often a choice.
She was telling me that when she was with her sister and few other friends, they were all playing together and ignoring her. I told her that was her perception. The truth was, she was extracting herself from their conversations.
I know this…because I was her!!! ALL THE WAY!!!
I explained to her that even if she is feeling left out, she still has the ability to ‘look’ like she is participating. Chances are the other kids are completely unaware of her alone-ness….. And it’s up to her to make that change.
When I was little, I felt in the shadow of my sister and my “once upon a time” best friend. They were both tiny cute and outgoing girls. They were fun and I felt like a dowdy, depressed withdrawn unattractive person that no one would want to give the time of day. So I acted that way!!
And then I would blame them for ignoring me. And it wasn’t the case. They wanted me to participate, but I wasn’t feeling up to it. EVER!
As a result I sat in the back seat and pouted and had a miserable time. For whatever reason, I just didn’t feel worthy.
So I know exactly how my daughter feels as she is my mini-me!
I told her that conversation is a two-way street. Everyone has a story and when you meet people, it’s nice to sit back and ask questions about them and find out about someone elses world. It’s not always about us!!
All you need to do is look interested and eventually, you will become interested!!!
I found out years ago, when conversations wane, start asking questions!!!
It was funny the other day, I was listening to Aspen talking to her friend in the car. She was talking to her friend about speeches and being nervous. Then she said that when she watches other people give speeches, she looks to see how they are nervous. Some fiddle with their hands, others bite their lip, others say “Umm” a lot, etc. She told her friend that when she sees others are nervous, she knows she isn’t alone.
I asked her who told her to watch for the signs. She said, “You did!”
I couldn’t stop smiling.
Kids listen. They just don’t let on that they hear you!!!
So when I had this conversation with Avery about being a participator, I know some of it sank in. And if I keep talking to her about it, eventually, she will start understanding what I’m saying. And then she will start changing her ways a bit to have better experiences with her friends!
And as I’m going up the hill today, I will heed my own words. These strangers that I’m going to meet tonite….won’t be strangers for long!
Happy Saturday!
I love today’s blog. So perfect on timing too. I’ve a,ways been like you and Avery in that I always felt left out, sometimes I feel like I still try to inject myself, but it’s that or be left out. And for years I didn’t feel worthy of having you as a friend. Didn’t know how or why I was so lucky to meet you and become such great friends, even though you’ve told me there is something special about me and I was worth your time….. I appreciate that so much about you.
I was invited to Paulas thing tonight too, but I wasn’t sure I’d make it and honestly I was supposed to work today, but I am at a point where I feel like I should be doing more than sitting inside my house working and doing homework constantly! There needs to be balance and I’m lacking in the fun times and working way too much, so I called a co-worker who will take over for me today and I will work tomorrow instead.
I completely love the part you talked about aspen to be so young and have the ability and forethought to watch for signs of nervousness in someone else so you don’t feel so alone is completely incredible and a true testament to the amazing mom you are! And the amazing daughters you have. They are both amazing!
So today I am going to the movies with my sisters and I’m very excited about it. After well walk through the mall for a bit.
This coming Friday night I will be cooking dinner for Tami at my house. I pray Baila will like her as quickly as possible so she doesn’t scare ger away. But if you have any time this week I’d love for you to come by my house and make sure it looks ok for company. Far enough before Friday that I have time to make changes if I need to. I’m getting a 20×30 frane today from somewhere because I have to put up tgat pic you gave me for Christmas it will be how I determine where to put the rest if my pics.
Anyway, talk to you soon. Enjoy tonight! I know it will be great! Tell Paula I said hello and I’d love to come to the next one!
Sent from my iPad Julie Ann Proctor http://www.julzrealestate.com Lic 01754588