Oh the joys of parenting….

Oh…you’re “just” a mom…. heard by millions of moms across the world.

If you are a mom…or even a parent, that sentence should evoke some sort of crazy emotion.

It’s different for all of us, but if we look at it closely and dissect the sentence, which word sticks out the most? (and not because it has quotes around it).

It’s the word “Just”…..

I remember 17 years ago, when I was expecting my first child, that I was filled with joy, excitement and yes, fear.  What would she look like?  Who’s eyes would she have?  What shall we name her?  Oh, motherhood will be so amazing, I can’t wait to be home with my baby.

I’ll never forget the day I was at work, just weeks before delivery and I was talking to my coworker (a parent of 3) about all the stuff I wanted to get done during maternity leave.

I’ll never forget seeing her look across at another coworker (another parent), smirk, and look back at me and say, “Mmmhmmmm”…..

I furrowed my brow wondering why she was so … agreeable yet quiet?

Well, it took about a week after my daughter was born and that smirk came flashing across my brain as I stared at my husband at 1am crying in total exhaustion because she was crying and wouldn’t sleep, “I DIDN’T SIGN UP FOR THIS!!!!”

We looked at each other  bewildered and exhausted, longing for the days when we’d lay our heads down at night and just…..SLEEP…..

Well, that was just the beginning.  There was no turning back at this point.  The deed was done, and we were parents.

Lo and behold, we added another just two short years later…. a red head.  Lord almighty, you thought the first one was hard?  Just throw some red hair into mix and buckle down for the ride….

Now, we love our kids, but when that second one came, my husband lovingly tells the story that when she was born, she kicked her way out of the womb and said, “Shit’s gonna change around here!”

And he was correct….

But the truth is, it changed with the first.  The second was just a different kind of challenge.

Each of our kids has their own personality…their own….flavor.  Their lives are pulled in distinctly different directions.  I wouldn’t change a thing about either one of them.

They are teens now.  And if I were too think back to that 1am freak out oh so many years ago…I didn’t realize that those were the easy years…..

See, the thing about parenting, and hopefully the first lesson you learn is that you will NEVER be alone again.  Your life is not your own… Your decisions will NEVER be just yours anymore, and your decisions will NEVER affect JUST YOU.  You have procreated.  You have now multiplied your responsibilities and your financial duties and your lifelong decisions….and your consequences….

If you are a good parent, you realize this.  If you are a bad parent, hopefully you have figured it out.

You have created a ripple in the pond of life that will go on and on forever.  You can’t undo it.

Where am I going with this?  Well, I’m glad you asked…

In the teenage years, things become a little more critical.  Hormones kick in, kids get REALLY smart and parents get REALLY stupid.  But by this time as a parent, you are aware that your IQ points have dropped significantly, because your teens let you know REGULARLY!!!  You are now living with creatures that have less joy, aren’t totally honest, become super emotional, more closed off and the speed at which they can roll their eyes at your words is astounding!  You are the least appreciated human on the planet.

…….yet you will still do ANYTHING for your children no matter the cost….

These last few months have pushed me a bit.  And when I say that, please know my kids are on the higher scale of good kids, but they are still teenagers and one can’t ignore the rigors of these years.

My kids have had needs that put me out of my comfort zone.  They constantly disrupt my schedule (as if I’m allowed to have one), because they forget to mention they need to be 100 miles away for a group project and they need to be there 5 minutes ago.  They have emotional issues that break your heart and you try to help with, but don’t forget, you are too stupid to be correct, but you try anyway.

Last year, I was accused by THREE people of being negligent to my daughters knee problems.  People (including grandma) literally thought I was ignoring my child….only SHE neglected to tell these people that she had FOUR CONSULTS who ALL told her to do the same thing, which is stretch properly before she started dancing…. FOUR DIFFERENT CONSULTS….  Nothing like being wrongly judged by people because your teen is so self-absorbed they can’t see the consequences of their complaints.

And the best part of that is, no matter how you want to throttle them….you can’t help but look at them as though they are babies and forgive them and love them unconditionally.  Pain in the ass, or naw….. And you never stop being their for them no matter how frustrating it can be….

This week, we are working on Gluten Free…  It’s nothing that I have an issue with but as I’m trying to help my eldest, I’m learning a world I never thought I’d have to delve into.  I will do whatever it takes to help my kids be their best.  I have seen one too many tear fall from her face and we are moving on to the next possibility of what can help her.

The thing is, your kids are your kids.  Parenting is so hard.  But when your children are well and happy and thriving, you get to celebrate in those victories.  You get to bare witness to the life you helped create.  And that is what keeps you going.  Sure, at times they are only sparse breadcrumbs… but it’s all about the journey and learning and growing with each other.  And one day, they will create their own ripple in the pond of life that you will hopefully be able to help celebrate…. and God Willing… all will be right with the world… even if only for a few moments at a time.

Life is fleeting.  Celebrate the great moments and appreciate the tribulations of the trials.

A moment and a drop at a time….