So, yesterday I was on my way out.  I was going to help a friend who is in the middle of a complete house demo and is painting and getting ready to move in.  I was getting ready to leave and then the husband came up asked when we plan to get rid of all the boxes in the hallway as they are blocking our access to the linen closet where we actively store stuff.  I said, I don’t know; when do you want it all gone?  He said, “Well, we can’t get to anything we need”.  I said, okay, I’ll get working on it (because it’s from my office).

Then he said, “Where are you going?”  I said, I’m going to help a friend with her house.

………………………………………………………………………………………………..

Ever have one of those moments when no words need to be spoken, but in a second you see the look on the ‘recipients’ face and re-evaluate what you said, playing back over in your mind in a nano-second and realize that what you said sounds completely insane to the person you just said it to?

Ya……that happened to me.

I looked at my husband as I was speaking and he paused for a brief moment, looked at me…..paused (this is where he was evaluating his response and deciding whether or not we were going to fight over this and if it was even worth a fight.) then he looked around at all the ‘stuff’ around us in our house (and as he was doing this, I know in his mind he was thinking, “OMG…are you KIDDING ME?  Don’t we need help HERE?  You are standing in a pile of ‘stuff’ that is a few inches deep and you are going somewhere ELSE to lend a hand???”)

And through all this, I’m reading his mind, but he never said a word.

He simply looked at me and said, “………..Alright………”  And with that I knew I was grounded.

There is SO much more gratification in helping someone else.  But in this instance our house is at max capacity with ‘stuff’ and it needs to be addressed.

In the end, I never got out of my closet (where he had said conversation).  Because it needed just as much attention as the hallway.  If I clean out the closet then I have room to put my clothes instead of the clothes basket where they have been for I refuse to say how long and the cleaning can continue from there.

I did do a few things in my room; like clean the ceiling fan (gross) and light fixtures and vacuum the dust of the lampshades.  And I realized that my fabulous down comforter is shedding at light speed and getting all over my clothes way more than the dogs hair.  How depressing is that?  I think we need to break up……..

In the end, though I feel bad about my decision to not help my friend, I realized that if I had chosen to go, it would have chipped away a bit at my marriage.  “Honor thy friend over thy husband”.  And though sometimes friends will come first; I knew in this instance it was a wise choice to stay home and let my husband know I read his brain.  And the very clear look on his face.

He made a wise choice to say nothing.  It would have caused a fight and I would have left feeling awful out of spite (because that is the way I roll).  I had to come to my own conclusion and do the right thing.

And though I didn’t get as far as I wanted, I made a huge dent and my closet looks fabulous (and half the bathroom and the floor in front of the TV).

It’s a start.

But I think the best thing is we both went to bed feeling a little happier in our room.

Some of the best words aren’t spoken.  You just have to pay attention.

Happy Sunday