My process

Ever question yourself incessantly, unnecessarily, and relentlessly?

Ya….that’s me!

Yesterday something happened that really surprised me and I had to deal with it.  And “dealing with it” involved a couple of different parties.

All in all, I think it’s resolved, but in the aftermath of it all, I replay it over and over and over in my mind.  I’m walking around today like I have been punched in the stomach; and no amount of talking to me will make that go away!

You may set, “get over it and move on!”  Well, I am.  But the process to get there for me is torturous.

I tend to over think, evaluate and RE-evaluate.  There is a LOT of stuff going on in my head and it’s taking all my energy.

I’m in withdrawal mode and don’t really want to talk.  My BFF called this morning; and from my “Hello” she could tell.

My husband tells me I WAY over think things I need to move on.

And he is right.  HOWEVER….how will I ever learn from what happened?  Did I handle it right?  Was I too harsh? (Because let’s face it, I can be down right nasty, but most people never see it, because I have worked VERY hard to contain myself).  Last night I’m glad I was in front of a computer than a face.

I’m not grace under pressure.  I have said this before!  I am just NOT!!!  Usually I react, and then have to bring in a BIG MOP to clean up after myself!!!  And I HATE cleaning!!!

And though I think I handled things okay, I can’t help but look at the whole situation and wonder what could have been different?  So, I’m mulling it over and over in my head and my body feels run down.

So, though it’s done and in many ways resolves; there is still an internal process that will take me as long as it takes me.

Maybe I am not unique in that, but it is what it is.

Happy Friday