I would like to thank the ceiling for being there for me to stare at at 4:45 this morning.  It kept me company for 2 hours while I couldn’t sleep!!!  I can’t give all the credit to the ceiling; the walls were a great supports system when I flipped left and right.

I don’t know what it is lately about me not sleeping through the night; but it’s been a regular occurrence lately.  It’s very frustrating.  And the worst part is; it’s only my mind.  My body is fully accepting and happy that I am in bed.  So it’s a complete disharmony of my body.  Because when the alarm clock goes off, I have to drag my exhausted body out of bed and start my day!!

I’ve said it before; I do my best thinking in the middle of the night.  And it’s totally against my will.

I see many people in my age group suffering the same fate.  Maybe it’s just age related.

Whatever it is, I wouldn’t mind it so much if there was something to do……or if I wouldn’t suffer for it later in the day.  But truth is; any time I get up too early, I suffer the effects of jet lag and it takes me days to recover (another age related sadness)….

Be that as it may; I kind of made a plan for the day!  (okay, not really, I was too tired to remember it).

When I am up in the middle of the night, I sit there and worry.  And it really sucks.  All the things I have no control over at that moment come flooding into my head as if to torture me and make me suffer on purpose.  What the heck?

And when I get up, it stays in my bed, because when I’m actually conscious, I realize there is nothing I can do about the stuff I worry about and therefore leave it behind for the next sleepless night.

Someone was telling me that Feng Shui (pronounced Fung Shway) might be a good alternative.  Maybe there isn’t ‘harmony’ in my room.

Of course there isn’t harmony in my room; it’s a complete mess with clothes all over the place and hangover stuff from my office.  It’s all stuff waiting for a home.

There is NO harmony in my room.

I was reading a Jack Canfield book (the guy who wrote Chicken Soup for the Soul) and he said, when you have things that are unfinished, they hang in your mind as an unfinished task.  For example; when I stare at books I haven’t read, they torture me and remind me that I don’t have time, or my priorities aren’t in order (which we all know), and therefore it’s an unfinished task that looms in my mind.  And until it is finished, it will continue to torture me.

Because of that information, I took the stack of books that was staring me down and I got rid of them.  And he was right.  As soon as they were gone, they were like a checked of piece of my ‘to do’ list.

Do you ever think about the things that surround you that are unfinished??  I have a huge list that follows me around and tortures me.  And usually it’s at 4:45 in the morning, when I can’t finish it.

Whatever the case may be, I think I will be looking at these looming things and start asking myself when I can accomplish them.  And if it can’t be accomplished for a long time, I will ask myself how important it is in my life, and can I possibly remove it.  I think if I actually acknowledge it, it will close the door on the worry over it and let me sleep a little longer.  At this rate, I’ll accept a few more minutes of peace.

Yesterday I had a moment away from my computer with the kids.  I was sitting on the stairs and I decided to slide down them on my butt like I did when I was a kid (well..and an adult.  Some things should always be an option).  So, with Avery in tow, we slid down the stairs together and laughed really hard.  This, apparently was new to her.  Aspen looked disappointed, so I offered her a ride.  So we went to the top of the stairs, she climbed on my lap and we slid down.  “AGAIN, AGAIN” she said.  So we did it again.  Then Avery wanted another turn.  The problem is the rug burn takes a few days to heal, so I called it quits.  But they weren’t done, so they grabbed a pillow and took another ride.  It was a simple moment that caused us great joy.

We need more moments like that in our day.  That way, when we are up in the middle of the night, we can have something else to think about.

That’s all I got for now.

Happy Tuesday