If you saw my video from the other day, I got ripped in to (in a private Mom’s group) because I mentioned that once upon a time I pushed the mattress out of my kids room… And this did NOT set well with her, she didn’t hold back in any way shape or form…I was in her terms, a child abuser…
Upon peeling of the onion, this woman eventually disclosed she had trouble with her foster mom growing up, and other issues came out about her upbringing that weren’t pleasant… But she wouldn’t relent on picking me apart. I had compassion for her because I knew where she was coming from and why this choice of mine “triggered” her. Clearly, it wasn’t my intention but was in response to a question from another mom asking advice.
Please note…I have had people reach out to me in regards to this video in TOTAL understanding that we have to parent each kid in a unique way and no two children are the same. THISSSSSS is why I go live and post freely, even at the expense of my girls who have been SOOOO patient with me (as they have seen my messages make a difference for people even if only one).
Tonight I posted in a group, something funny ish…and yet another person came at me. Only one…the rest totally got my joke and approved, laughed, whatever….
The negative poster came at me because my post triggered something in her that she didn’t find funny and she wanted to make sure I knew it.
But was it NECESSARY for her to drop in and give her two cents?
This term is called PROJECTING. These two ladies have had issues in their lives that altered who they were. My heart goes out to them both and they are in my prayers. I totally get it. I have lots of things that I dealt with in my life, some have left deep scars, but I know they are MINE and that not everyone will identify with what I went through, so unless they ask me, I don’t see the point of crapping on their posts or correcting them, “for they know not what they do….”
The reason I tell you this is if someone comes out and criticizes you when you didn’t see it coming, and it hurts you in some way, consider the source.
The one poor girl was projecting her struggling childhood on me, and the other lady hit me with struggles she dealt with and my post didn’t set well with her. I DO get it and I have compassion. It is NEVER my intention to stir up muck or disrespect another… But I simply can’t let someone discount MY feelings because THEY went through something totally different.
I’ve been a HUGE people watcher all my life, and I have been through much therapy. Some scars will run deep and may never be solved in my life. But I will do my best to never discount another’s feelings because of MY personal issues from once upon a time.
I thought for a moment to reach out and private message, but I simply left it as, “I feel you..I’m sorry my post doesn’t agree with you. I sometimes come across posts I don’t agree with… I give them Grace and keep scrolling”.
Here is my conclusion…whether on FB or in real life, because I have dealt with both…. You will NEVER change someone’s mind if they feel so strongly as to come out and “Correct” you for your actions…. You will never heal their past… and their past is not yours to heal…. They don’t deserve the power to discount your feelings. Administer grace and compassion…and let it go…