Don’t Judge

I remember before I had kids I would judge every move a parent would make.  If I saw a kid talking back and a parent did nothing I was appalled.  When I saw teens rolling their eyes at their parents and the parents didn’t react I couldn’t believe what I saw!  “HOW could they let them get away with that!??” I would wonder!

On the other side, I once saw a woman screaming at her child in a store and I watched her practically drag her kid a foot behind her.  My head was reeling at the sight……

I dated a guy who had a kid and I couldn’t believe that when he had his kid (on his weekends) that he wasn’t out doing something with his child every second until he had to send him home….

When my sister had kids, I sent her books in the mail, because after all, I could see it all so clearly.

I had people tell me, “You don’t understand, because YOU don’t have kids!”

Well….now I do.  And I can honestly say, 12 years in….that I get it more now and judge others way less.

As I write, my daughter is in her room screaming “It’s not FAIR” and fighting me every step of the way!  Why?, you ask???  well, because she was told to clean her room before she adds any new clothes to the already ever mounting piles on the floor across her room.

Every task I ask of her, she is so quick to say “NO” and writhe and scream for hours when the small tasks would have taken her a few minutes.  She often falls asleep from crying, or quietly disappears to the bathroom.  She is the most wanting and least willing when it comes to fair trade.

My days are spent trying to get through my own work tasks, so to take time and ask my daughters to uphold the small bargain of “chipping in” for the sake of the family, I’m usually met with resistance.  And you know what????  I’m Tired!

So there are times I give in and let go or don’t enforce, because it’s either man-handle them, or let the house be dirty one more day!

I’ve spent so little time enforcing a regular cleaning schedule, therefore when it’s brought up, I may have well told them I killed our dog with a pick axe.

It’s so much nicer to have piece and quiet then to start yet another battle that I’m too tired to follow through on.  And more often than not, the job is done half-assed and I could have done better myself.

That said, I’m not bashing on my kids, because I have REALLY good kids.  But there are times as a parent when you have to pick your battles and if you do, you’d darn well be ready to follow through on the consequences.  Because if you don’t they will smell blood and go for your jugular.

Parenting isn’t for sissies.  I can look up at each one of my scenarios that started this story and create a story that supports every parent in America!  I’ve lived some of them if not all!

I remember when the girls were small.  My littlest decided to throw a complete fit in the middle of the store.  As my mom wasn’t done shopping, she kept the other kid and I removed my little cherub angel to the car, in her car seat where SHE was safe and I was safe from leaving her in an aisle at the store.

As I sat there waiting for her to calm down, I had the van doors open for air.  A man came to his car right next to us and as he went to get in, he gave me a look that was all to knowing to me…… he clearly did NOT have children!!!  If he could have done anything to console my little red head, I would have let him.  However, he just passed his glaring look at me (as if to say I’m the devil of a mother) and got in his car.  I found myself thinking, “DUDE, I have bigger fish to fry, you can move along and save yourself from me, because I’m about to snap!  Go ahead, give me a reason!”

Eventually she calmed down and we went back in.  But I’ll tell you what….. When you have children, everything inside of you is tested.  Your patience, your IQ, your sanity, your wallet…. All of it and more!

I don’t proclaim to be the best mother, but I have learned to be a little more forgiving with other parents.  I’m less likely to judge and more understanding when I see the looks on parents faces.  I also take advice from non parents with a grain of salt.  Been there done that.  They will have their day and I will be there waiting.

They make kids cute for a reason, that’s for sure.

If you ever see a mom flying off the handle at their kid in the middle of the store for flicking his sibling in the head, don’t be so quick to judge…. you were there that one time, but you probably missed the first 99 times she told them to stop.

Plain and simple….. don’t judge lest ye be judged…..

(this doesn’t apply to abuse by the way…. I know the difference!)