Dance…you either get it or you don’t

My daughter performed her solo recently, and I posted it online for all to see.  If you are a dancer, and your video is up, that in and of itself is a big deal.  That means it passed the litmus test for posting….  Many hit the editing room floor.

Shortly after I posted the video, I got a call from my brother, with compliments, but also admitting…he doesn’t get it.  He’s not sure what he is looking at and isn’t quite sure how to appreciate this.

Being a dance mom for so many years, let me tell you… I understand exactly what he means.  Just a few years ago, the grandma’s were invited to a ballet that my daughter (their granddaughter) was in.  At the end of the show the both said in no uncertain terms… “We don’t need to see one of these again”.

I actually laughed.  It was a ballet.  Ballet is something you either appreciate, or you don’t. I wasn’t offended in the least because if you don’t know what you are looking at..it’s a whole lotta boring.

After the call from my brother, I looked at my daughters video, trying to figure out how to explain the appreciation for dance….and I realized, it has to be known to be appreciated.

One would have to understand that ballet is the foundation of dance, and every plie, releve, tendu, battement, help prepare for the pirouettes and the jete’s etc… how turnout is everything and it’s just the beginning of building a graceful dancer… (and please don’t quote me on the exact sequence as I wasn’t actually in the room, I just paid for it all….

Over the years of watching my girls grow in dance, other elements were added in the various styles of dance they took, as well as tumbling for improved movement and leaps and turns which have to be repeated and corrected over and over again.  There is technique in every movement that they do and in the beginning where they learn the fun stuff like leg holds and split leaps, those will only take you so far as you get older where you focus more on clean transitions and absolute control of your movements.

My daughter has her focus on lyrical and contemporary and as I watch her grow, what I see in her is a progression of her talent.  Her dedication is what pulls her to the next step in her dance career.  Her relationships with her coaches include many hours of therapy  between coach and dancer to get them out of their heads and into their movements, explaining to them that a correction isn’t a criticism, it’s a fact of dance.  And every time they master another technique (and I use the term master lightly because dancers never master, just ask them), they grow in their art.

A teacher will have a more technical account of this transition of a dancer, but I’m giving you my perspective as a parent…a spectator.  My daughter has been dancing for 13 years and as I look at her today, I can’t imagine who she would be without her years in dance.

And if I hadn’t watched it all along, I dare say, I wouldn’t get it.

I stood on the sidelines of football this year, volunteering to take pictures and I had no clue what I was watching.  I know it’s an American pastime but I never knew all the details.  Over the course of the season I had many people take pity on me and throw me some rules so I knew what I had just seen.  I can honestly say I have much more understanding for the sport as well as an appreciation for each player that plays their specific spot.  I still don’t totally get it, but I at least know what a touchback is (even though I’m still fuzzy on the details.).

That said, I can’t put someone in front of my daughter and expect that they see that her toe is pointed every time she leaps, and if she see’s a picture that looks perfect, she will tell me her hip is open and her coach will ream her for it when he sees it.  Or that it took months for her to learn her front aerial and when she falls back into a hinge, it takes amazing hamstring and core strength for her not to flop on the floor.  I don’t expect them to know that her hair for her dance…was actually a discussion, or that we mortgaged our house for all the bobby pins and hairspray that have been used over the years.

Or that dancers feet are likely more lethal than a football locker in its entirety.  And it would be crazy to think one would need to practically train in hair-ology to figure out how to rat hair so much it will take weeks to comb out….

I don’t expect them to know why we would pack up our house just to drive an hour and stay in a hotel for a few dances that only last 3 minutes each.  Or that the teachers who choreographed the dances have specialties and probably had that dance in mind for years but just needed the right group to make it reach its potential.

I doubt it’s ever crossed their minds that the costumes worn were either ordered and altered to size, or they were pieced together with an old cut up wedding dress that made perfect appliqués on a white leotard….

No….this stuff can’t be explained…it kind of has to be lived to be appreciated.  And appreciated it is.  The memories of our time in hotels, organizing who is bringing what food so we can all have a little something fun… Me bringing my espresso maker and having moms come to my door with a cup and some milk to add to their espresso…  The conventions and trying to coordinate lunches for hundreds of girls at the same time… This is the stuff that makes it all so rich…

I don’t need anyone to get it.  I’m not offended in the least.  Just taking the time to check in and say, “Good job” is nice enough.  To celebrate all our children in all their abilities, whether we ‘get them’ or not is more important than anything!