Words hurt. Words scar.
Ever wonder how your words affect another? Well you should! Take it from me! I shoot from the hip. My words don’t always come out right, even though I NEVER mean to hurt anyone. Sometimes I just can’t stop myself.
In the past few years, I have had quite a few “life altering moments” based on the words of another. Some of the phrases include the words, “Just” or “How can you..,” or “If you only”…
People don’t seem to realize that there are small cues that simply mean “you are not good enough”.
We have no idea how we impact others! If you have ever said, “I’m sorry for X……BUT……” stop right there….. when you use the word, “BUT” after “I’m Sorry”, you just undid what you were sorry about. Did you realize that?
*scar*
If you would “JUST” pick up your stuff….
JUST? The word “JUST” implies that it’s simple. SIMPLE. Truth is, if it were THAT simple….EVERYONE would be doing it. Only…everyone ISN’T doing it. If they were, then we would JUST be all the same! But we are NOT! We are all distinctly different….and unique…and….BEAUTIFUL!
Opposites attract. Did you know that? We look in others for what we don’t possess. In that, we build upon each other. We grow from each other. And it’s a great place to be when we actually RESPECT each other AND our DIFFERENCES!!!
I’m going to confess something here…. I’m a bit of a slob! Actually, I’m a LOT of a slob. I will put something down and walk away from it with the TRUE INTENTION of getting right back to it! My whole house is a bunch of “I’ll get right back to it!”
In comes my husband… If you would JUST throw it away when you open it, then there wouldn’t be a mess!!!
……and I cannot argue. Not even a little……. But the truth is (today, yesterday and 20 years ago) I “JUST” don’t do it! I will get to it EVENTUALLY…. Just not right now! It’s not that important to me…. Not even on my radar. And normally, I’m totally fine with it. I walk over piles and don’t even blink an eye. And I never really thought about it until someone came to my house, looked around in horror and said without even thinking….”How do you LIVE like this??” I know I have blogged about this before. But I ask you… Have you received an invitation from me for a barbecue? A party? A soiree??? No….you haven’t. And neither has anyone else. Only my closest friends are allowed over.
I’m not a hoarder. I have NO problem throwing stuff away….once I get to it. But I have no time in my life for people who criticize who I am and how I choose to live my life.
And truth be told, this was NOT a bad person at all. They were kind and wonderful. They just had no idea the power of their words, and how they would affect my life.
I don’t tell you this to make you feel sorry for me, because I’m totally fine! I’m disorganized, but I have a great business, and family where I choose to put my efforts. I tell you this, because I want you to seriously consider the words you say to another.
I have told my kids a hundred times, “I will scar you and screw you up, and you will let me know how later!”
We aren’t bad people, but we should become more aware of what we say and how we affect others. IF you use the word “JUST” in a conversation to someone else…Please eradicate it from your vocabulary. “Just” means you are better than them and your message is they can’t get it together.
If you say “But”, you have just undone ANYTHING you said before it, so stop right there and walk away!
And if you start a sentence with “How can you”, just know that they can and don’t bother asking the question!
More often than not, we just don’t get how others can’t be like us! I have scars that go back to childhood when my dad all but called me an idiot for not understanding algebra. It took me DECADES to realize that he was just SOOOOOOOOOO smart, that there was no concept in his mind for my lack of understanding. It didn’t mean he didn’t love me….though that is what I thought at the time. He was simply frustrated that he couldn’t break through.
If you find yourself SO frustrated with another, I ask you to stop and ask yourself, WHY is it so important to YOU???? If they are fine how they are, and they are happy, then for the love of God and all that is Holy…APPLAUD THEM!!! Don’t change people who are content! Figure out why YOU are NOT content with how they are! It’s so easy to point our fingers out at others…. When we should be turning that finger around and pointing it at ourselves.!!!
Happy Sunday!
Mom of two grown ass girls and married to a short guy who is funny and cooks really well! I’m a photographer by trade, so you can say I’m a bit “peopley”. My favorite sessions are the one on ones where I just get to chat and find out about my clients. I’m blessed with what I get to do every day! Blessed by the support of my husband and kids, and blessed by the ongoing support and encouragement of my friends who are always lifting me up.