Being a Mom

Today is Mothers Day.  And though it doesn’t turn out to be for me, because both my and my husbands moms are here and we celebrate them; I can’t help but reflect on how my life has changed since being a mom!!

I remember “Pre” babies, I would have PLENTY to say to moms about how to rear their young.  And their replies were always the same, “You don’t understand, because YOU don’t have children!”  I was always offended at this because I know TO THIS DAY that my advice was good!!!

But sadly, they were right.  ALL OF THEM!

When I was pregnant and waiting for my first child, I felt like I was at the door of Motherhood; knocking and knocking, but they wouldn’t let me in until I had my joyful little bundle in my hands.

And then it happened.  I was a mom.

I didn’t let her out of my sight for the first 9 months.  Never spent a night away from her.  I remember when she was a newborn and I was up at 1am with her changing her diaper….then she’d immediately soil again, before I put her in the crib and I had to change her again.  I remember crying to my husband saying, “I DIDN’T SIGN UP FOR THIS!!!”  I had no idea what being a mom was….until I was a mom.

For the first time, I couldn’t just leave the house without 6 million items or two weeks of prep for a 2 hour outing.  I remember the moment I realized, “I’ll never be “just me” again!”  My life is forever changed.  I’ll never make another decision that won’t somehow affect my child.

As a mother, selfishness goes out the window!  You want a little “ME” time?  Good luck getting a shower in with a crying baby who can’t stand your absence.  I remember many a shower with my baby on the floor outside the shower with the door barely open so she could see me as I talked or sang to her the whole time (which ended up being a miserable two minutes) – and she was still screaming bloody murder.  I realized at that time showers were optional.   And yes, there was a period of time my husband kept his distance due to the smell.  And I didn’t care.  I was exhausted……

When number two came along, good GOD almighty….I thought juggling one was hard!  Bring in the second one with less fears and more gumption.  Fatigue grew into confusion and days went by without my recollection.

Motherhood is a trip.  It’s a total transformation from “Me” to “We”.

I have friends who have no kids, and just the other day I asked my husband, “What do they DO with all their time???”  I couldn’t for the life of me figure out how boring their days must be.  Or how unfulfilled…..?

But in truth, they are fine and happy.  They are just a different kind of happy.

Being a parent is all about putting yourself outside of you and opening up your world to another level.

Decisions are made not based on the impact of one…..but now the impact of one PLUS the kids and how it will eventually impact them.  Global matters are a little closer to home, because now it affects my children, and that makes some matters more pressing than others.

I have learned so much since being a mother.  And though my “sound advice” pre-babies was good….I realize now that it doesn’t necessarily apply to children…..or their parents.  I realize that every situation is unique and every child is different.

I remember Chris looking at his sister’s son and then explaining to his sister how he would just ‘rationalize’ with the kid until the kid calmed down.  Then a few years later, comes Avery, our little red head and as she threw a massive tantrum, his sister looked at him and said, “Go rationalize that!”

TOUCHE!!!!!!!!

No offense to my husband, but it’s a standing joke to this day.  Some kids are more rational than others, but the red head…… ALL EMOTION!!!   And I wouldn’t change a thing about her!

One would think that having two would be easy.  But the second one is nothing like the first so there is a whole new learning curve.    Nature couldn’t be that kind.

But to be honest, I wouldn’t change a thing.  I’m so grateful that my kids are each unique individuals.  I have learned to celebrate their differences and it’s opened my world even further.

I think it’s sad that you don’t appreciate your mother ‘that much’ until you have kids of your own.
I remember calling my mom one day and saying, “If you EVER want to see your grandchildren alive again, you will take them from me NOW!!!!”  I was met on the other line with laughter.  She got it.  And she took them.  And they are alive today because of her!

Seeing my kids with their grandparents is another avenue of joy.  It’s like our parents reward for ‘growing us up’!

Watching our parents with our kids – and our kids with their grandparents is such a happiness to me.  I have brief memories of my grandparents; some were gone before I was born.  So I have limited personal knowledge with this dynamic.  So to see my kids with each of their grandparents makes me feel the fullness life has to offer.

My kids are truly blessed.

So on this Mothers Day as I reflect upon my life as a mother, I am completely fulfilled.

And though todays focus will be more on our moms, I will be content in knowing what it’s like to be a mom to two beautiful and compassionate girls who love me! (Okay…only one loves me right now, the other one said just last night that I’m the worst mother EVER!…..but I digress)

I will reflect on how I love my two girls with all my heart and would give my life for them so that they could have every happiness  (well, unless that makes them spoiled brats… never mind).

Happy Mothers Day to all the moms out there who have knocked on the door and been accepted into motherhood.

And to those who are still waiting….You don’t understand yet, but you will…….

Happy Sunday!