Balance and time

Maybe it’s my age, or it’s possible that I’m just done with certain things.  I feel like I’m splitting hairs at times and I feel like negativity is creeping into my bones.  I don’t like it, but I don’t know how to stop it.

I’m in the process of planning the next of our lives and it’s a little disconcerting.  I want my kids to have their dance as it is WHO they are, but at the same time, I’m trying to plan MY life too!  I’d like to be present for the kids, but when you are stretched in so many directions, then HOW do you give your kids what they really need, which is YOU!!!

I have some friends who put their kids in one activity each a year.  They don’t get our lifestyle at all, because if you are in a dance team, dance becomes your life and your family is inadvertently sucked into it all.  And this is okay, because this IS what we signed up for.  It just comes at a cost some times.

This family I speak of are really good at balancing things.  Both parents work, so their seconds of the day are precious.  They have Sunday’s for family only and they play games or do some activities together.  TOGETHER!!!  It’s sacred!  I love that!  They are constantly telling me about games they play together and just the thought of them sitting around a table together actually engaging is amazing to me.  It’s a concept that has kind of escaped us over the last few years.

We DO have family dinners on Sunday, but they are comprised of our family plus mom and my friend.  It’s never really just us 4, and I wonder if that’s a bit of a mistake.  Not that I don’t enjoy those nights; but just that I’m not really spending that much time with my kids on those dinners.  Mostly spent talking to the adults…..  Yikes!

Kids NEED their parents!  And though my kids have me EVERY DAY, much of that time is spent taxiing them around from place to place with a quick drop off.  OR, running errands, etc.  I know many of you can relate.  And when we are at home, we are trying to get our own “Me time” which means, I’m on my computer (yay me) and the kids are in front of the boob tube (when’s the last time you heard THAT phrase?).

Not exactly an engaging environment!

I literally have one month with my kids when they aren’t running crazy.  ONE MONTH out of the year!!!  That month is August.

Right now, as I write, they are in camp for dance teams.  The teams they get picked for will determine our upcoming years schedule.  I’m a bit stressed thinking about it, because last year and this past year I said the same thing; I will pull back a bit so we can have more balance.  Only balance never happens.  I start the year out with a few classes and the kids BEG for more.  It’s crazy.  And I usually give in.  What the heck, I say!!!  At least last year I had ONE day a week where I could do my own thing with them.  ONE down day…. that was it.  It was Monday.  I know…. yippee!!!  But it WAS a day off (well….except for that thing they call SCHOOL).

I guess balance comes in different ways.  For some, it’s a Sunday family day.  For others it’s a Monday afternoon.

The truth is, when you have kids, it’s hard to balance no matter what!  But the goal is to make sure that you, the parent have the final say.  My kids would live at the studio if they could.  I have to keep the reigns in just to keep some ME time!  But I think it’s important to realize that when you make these choices, that even if you spend EVERY day with your kids; make sure some of that time is uninterrupted and engaged.  Put the phone down (hell, put it in the freezer for an hour).  Turn the TV off; play a game….or just let your kids pick something they would like to do with you.

I’m talking to myself more than anyone else here.  My kids are used to me trailing off on my sentences because I was distracted by an incoming text (SQUIRREL).  But remember that every time you take your face away from them, YOU are showing them that they are not as important as a text that is coming in from  you don’t even know who!!!

We’ve become a narcissistic society with our phones.  I’m guilty.

As my kids are growing right before my eyes, I sometimes wonder what I will miss most as they grow up.  And I don’t want to look back and realize that my phone got in the way of what I might have remembered most.

Just a thought.  No real direction, but that’s how I roll.

Happy Thursday!