Unique gifts and qualities

My kids are at ‘that’ age. I thought it was a long time coming, but damn time goes by quickly!
They are at the transitioning ages between our babies, and “I don’t need your advice!” Thankfully they haven’t reached the latter yet, but it’s coming, I can feel it.
Right now, they are simply at the “I want what THEY have” stage. Are you familiar with this? I know I am! All I have to do when shopping is look at my mom and say, “Remember Chemin de fers?” And she understands.
It’s totally natural to look around and see what’s going on with everyone else. If it wasn’t, then sayings like, “Trying to keep up with the Joneses” wouldn’t exist. But it does. And here I am. My kids are trying to keep up with the Joneses. The only probably is, we are more like Sanford and Son. So we have a problem.
There are times I feel self conscious about this, but then I get a reality check. I have had many conversations with many parents and I have found that we all have our unique gifts that we give to our children. First of all…we are present!!! Both parents work, but thankfully, I work out of our home which makes me more available to the children. We are also fabulous cooks. My husband makes great meals and I make great desserts (with a couple of fabulous meal offerings as well.). When I cook dinner, it’s usually a 2-3 hour process. I make things that take time, attention and dare I say; love.

I’ve talked to quite a few friends who can’t cook a lick. But they got a great backyard and party house that makes food secondary. And yet others who work so much, their kids never see them. But their work lends to their kids playground and social calendar, so whatever lacking one may feel, is filled by those around them.

We are a village of parents who have our own special offerings. But it still stings when you hear your child say, “Well so and so has THIS!” my answer is simply, “Well, so and so isn’t my kid, so I don’t care!”

Recently my kids were “informing me” that one of their friends always comes to dance with either Jamba Juice or Starbucks. Well, great for them, that’s not how we roll. So one day I decided to pull the parent aside and say, “Why are you doing this to me!?” to which she answered, “Did you know that my daughter asked me to get your cookie recipe so I can bake like YOU DO!?” I couldn’t help but laugh! All of a sudden I realized we were staring at each other BOTH lacking SOMETHING in our children’s eyes!!! PERSPECTIVE!!!

Be that as it may, I have to say, I’m surrounded by enough people with enough offerings that we all complete each other! I will never be 100% in my kids eyes. But they do see other parents who make them appreciate us more!

All I can say is dialog is important. Just keep talking to your kids. Make them realize that “Stuff” isn’t important. Time spent together with family and friends is important. Loving, giving, laughing…. that’s important. Trying to contribute to society, not contaminate society.

Today I heard the news of Maya Angelou’s passing. I first heard of her almost 20 years ago and every time I hear her name, my heart swells with peace and joy. That woman made her mark in our world. She left us WITH something that will carry on for decades to come.

With our society being so full of “Selfies” and ‘me me me’ thinking, I can see we are losing something precious…. and that’s appreciation. Appreciation for who we are and what we have….what WE have….. And as Oprah would say, “Start with your breath!” So fundamental, so true. She is yet another woman who will leave this world with her mark on our hearts.

Focus on the here and now. Teach your children well and love them as much as humanly possible. I had a great lesson not long ago; I was with my girls and we were working together on a project. It was actually cleaning and baking and house stuff. At the end of the day, Aspen stunned me with her words; “Thank you for today, Mom”. It gave me huge pause. All she wanted was my time and attention.

And now that I’m faced with “that age”, I realize I need to do my best to squeeze in more of those ‘Today’s’.

I love when my children teach me lessons!

Now I need to go, because I can smell that my banana bread is done.

Happy Wednesday!