Sad reminders

So, I just found out one of my family members is in failing health.  My heart is breaking and there is nothing I can do about it.  I’m reliving my fathers passing of not so many years ago.

This happens to be one of his siblings.  The last surviving one.

What the hell….  Why does this have to happen?  And why now?

As long as I live, I will never get death.  My dad was 63.  Just a few short years ago I would have thought 63 was ‘old’.  But as I am just a few short almost 20 years away, I realize it’s way too soon.

I can’t help but think about my life when I hear news like this.  I reflect back on memories of my family and realize how important family is.

I look back and wonder what my dad thought of his brother…for real.  And what did my uncle think of my dad?

As we go through life, aren’t we supposed to leave our mark?  Our imprint on others’ souls to prove that we made a difference?

Well in reflecting upon my own life, I’m just not sure!

I spend so much time just getting through the minutes of my life that I don’t have time to think about the impact that I have made upon others.

In the end will my life be for naught?  Or will I have made an impact that will be everlasting on anothers life?

I think in the hustle and bustle of the day to day we forget why we are here.  Or in fact, do we KNOW why we are here?

Life is hard.  Confusing.  Painful.  Joyful.  Blessed.

In my heart of hearts I feel we are here for a reason.  To touch and imprint on others.  To guide.  To work together. To prove we are not alone.

We are NOT alone.  We are one.

And in that we are together.

So to hear of my family member who is in poor health, I realize that a part of me is in poor health.

And my question is, ‘What should I do?’

And the answer is to love.  In whatever way possible.

My heart is slowly breaking.  I’ve been here before and it hurts.  I can’t control life.  I can’t honestly control much.

But I can love.  And I can pray.

And in my heart of hearts I can never forget that I have a choice every day of my life to give to my family the love it needs.  I just have to remember to move in that direction.

Today I pray to remember.  Because in all honesty, that’s all I can do.