Ever have the universe keep trying to give you signs, but you ignore them until they hit you between the eyes?  Ya, that’s me.

This time of year is difficult, because I’m juggling so much, I can’t keep anything straight.  I clearly need an assistant, but don’t have time to find one, and frankly can’t afford to pay one.  So, here I am trying to do it all  and letting things falter one at a time.

Let’s take the personal life (well, the one I’m trying to have).  Last night was Halloween.  In years past, I couldn’t WAIT go plan and decorate and figure out what my costume would be.  My crowning glory was Carol Burnetts rendition of “gone with the wind”.  I showed up to a Home Fabric store with a hoop skirt and pulled the green material and asked the store clerk to “measure” me to the best of her ability to see how much fabric I would need to make curtains to fit my body.  I was very proud of that costume.  The year before that, I found an old wedding dress and fashioned Mary Poppins in her white dress with her parasol.  Store bought costumes?…..fughetaboutit!!!!!!

Fast forward to this year, I’m literally pulling whatever costume hasn’t been seen in recent years to appear as fresh as possible.  And in my defense, I pulled out the Evil Queen to pair with my little “bloody snow white” 11 yr old.

As for the teen, she has a hard time making up her mind to do anything.  To ask her to stand in front of the bazillion costumes in Party City and “pick one” is the same as well, I don’t know but lets just say it’s torture and she can’t do it!   And though she couldn’t pick a costume, she was emphatic about wanting to go with her friends in another city.  They are her dance friends and she can’t get enough of them.

Through the preceding weeks she asked me dozens of times, but I told her no.  I didn’t want to drive that far just to drop her then pick her up later.  She can trick or treat with her friends around here!  (insert disappointed face).

I made a promise to my girlfriend that we would see each other at Halloween, because with our harried schedules, the girls dancing and my bussing back and forth, I never see our old “school” friends.  Everything is more or less about the dance friends.  So, in my heart of hearts, I’m trying to keep the balance, because even though I can see the kids growing apart from their school friends (most of which who play soccer or some other sport).

So, let’s talk about the “fail” part of all this.  First of all, when invited to a party….it’s always a good idea to RSVP!  You know why?  Then people know your coming.  Telling your one friend that you promise you will be there is great…but if she isn’t the actual host of the party, then it’s kind of ineffective.

Second, when your child needs help with her costume….help.  It’s not that hard and doesn’t take that much time.  But as my life rolls, my daughter was finishing her costume just seconds before we had to run out the door.  Not a total fail there, because I am TOTALLY proud of her for accomplishing what she did on her own; she looked amazing!

Third….when your teenage daughter wants to grow up and leave and be with the friends that want to be with her….let her go.

I forced my daughter to hang with us and as a result, she had no one her age to walk with.   Now in my opinion, that is an ABSOLUTE HALLOWEEN FAIL!!!   It was unbeknownst to her that she wouldn’t have anyone.  She thought she was going to meet up with her ‘school friends’ as we had in years past.  And now I see what the problem was…..  Since my daughter is now only at school 2 periods a day, this doesn’t give her the time necessary to see or plan with her ‘school’ friends where they will be going.  So, in that, she has relied on me!  And when we got to the party, and I realized the issue, it was too late.  I had my husband load the teenager in the car and lug her down to ‘the city of her friends’.  And it was only at that point, while standing in the foyer of the party, that I recalled- for a nano second- that my girlfriend (to whom I promised I would be there) had actually mentioned the week earlier that her teenager was planning on going to a neighboring community to trick or treat with ‘her’ friends……..

…….  and the tears started rolling.  For my daughter and for me.

As for dead snow white, she was skipping about the neighborhood with all her friends so no foul there.

But it was at this moment, that I realized ONCE AGAIN, that I get lost in the details.  It’s not my thing!  I can’t do it!  I live on the big chunks of information and the details need to be handed over to my assistant…..that I don’t have….because I can’t afford one…. and apparently, if I did and could I’d likely forget to pay her……

In the end, it all worked out; husband got to show up to the party and ‘keep appearances’, then he got to save the night by delivering the teenager, the teenager got to be with her friends; and youngest skipped about town collecting more candy then I will ever let her eat in a lifetime.  As for me, I cried part of my makeup off, came home washed the remnants, put on PJs and turned off the lights at my house, because the bucket of candy we left out front was gone when we got home (big surprise there, huh?).  So at 7:45 I couldn’t even enjoy all the other little kids who had fun, because I literally had nothing left to offer.

So there you have it…

Sad. Pathetic. Halloween.