Choice or chance

I’ve decided to force myself to write this morning.  Clearly there is something brewing in my brain that is driving me here, so let’s see what’s going on.

Since my last post, I have had little resolution.  And as I mull it all over in my mind, I think to myself; what can one do when there is no resolution?  Doesn’t that put them in a state of  “STUCK”???

Well, what I have finally come to as an answer is this:……..

If you choose to wait for someone else to resolve it for you, then YES….you are stuck!

BUT…..if you choose in your mind to either let it go, or create a self driven plan, then NO, you are not stuck!!!

Too many times we hand power over to those who don’t deserve it.  These last couple of days in limbo have actually gotten me angry.  I’m not powerless and I’m not stupid.  I just need to move forward and get over the crap that’s settling in my bones.  I have been in many situations where I give my power away and to be honest, I have fought my whole life to keep the control in my court.

But it’s hard when you don’t want to make waves in life.  More often than not, when I look back on those days when I gave power away, I was simply trying to resist a fight.  And to be honest, in some cases, I just didn’t feel worthy of having resolution.  And true in other cases, I felt I deserved to be ‘stuck’.

Call it low self-esteem, which I have also struggled with all my life.

But as I am now in my 40s (which refers to my earlier post), I realize that there are just some things I don’t have time for.  Games is one of them, lying is another, disrespect yet another, and unfinished business!  I’m sure there is more but for the sake of time and this post, I shall move forward.  You get my point!!

Sometimes you just have to realize there IS no resolution.  So you need to make a plan to move forward.  We don’t always get what we want.  That’s just not how life works.

So with this situation that I have been mulling over, I have chosen to close it in my mind.  It’s a done deal and there is nothing I can do about it.  I am taking the power to make the decision to let it go.

Will I still fester a bit?  Probably….but the choice to move on feels better in my body then holding on to something that relies on someone else to finish.  And as I have posted before, we simply cannot control what others do, only ourselves!!!  WE ALWAYS have a choice.  It’s just up to us to exercise it.  And some choose to play victim and hold on.  To them, I say more power to you….and how’s that working for you???

So, on this day, I’m going to exercise my right to go forward and not look back.    (okay….I might glance a little.)

There are just too many other things in my life that take priority over this once incidence which I can’t control.

And recently I have to say, I have invested a little more time in my family and the result has been nice.  Yesterday after my daughter came home we had a tickle fest and laughed a LOT.  And my husband and I actually smiled at each other a few times in the last few days.  (If you’ve been married more than 10 years with ANYONE you know that’s a feat!)

So I will take peace in that knowledge and know that I am moving in the right direction.  If you choose not to choose….you are still choosing…..

Happy Tuesday