How toxicity bleeds…

In the last few years, I have been involved in some group situations and I have seen how people operate.  For the most part, people are lovely; no issues, everyone wants to get along and have a good time.

But then there are the few…

Decades ago, I started working in a bank.  It was an exciting job for me; the first “adult” job I ever had and started right out of high school.  Most of the employees were wonderful, but there was this one lady who was so gruff and upfront and at times rude… I went home and told my mom about her (and I’m sure my 18 yr old self painted this lady really ugly)… My mom was less than impressed by my dismay and simply looked at me and said, ‘Catherine…there is a prick in every bunch, and you just have to learn to deal with them”…

I paused at this news … hoping my mom would match my energy, but it was clear she had been through this many times before.  Deflated from lack of argument, I went to work the next day and took the time to study this “prick” and learned her ways and she wasn’t as bad as I thought.

As time went on and new jobs came along, I literally looked for the “prick” in each location…lo and behold, my mother was right…a prick in every bunch… I found one every time.  I learned to navigate them every time.  For nothing other than taking the path of least resistance, I realized these people had an air of self importance or angst that they hadn’t properly learned to navigate, so they learned to channel it the only way they knew how and as it turned out..others had to deal…

It didn’t stop in the work place.  Truth is, we are all a prick in someones life.  We are humans raised in our own environments with our own beliefs and we grow accordingly… this makes us all different and some of us are more compatible than others… and that is okay.

The problem comes when someone can’t assimilate well with others so they learn to work the system to fit in…

Lets talk baking soda and vinegar …

Most people know there is a chemical reaction to baking soda and vinegar…instant reaction and explosion (of sorts)… yes there are some people like that… BUT… there are those who realize that a little dish soap will calm the effects, so they learn to work their magic and not make waves as it were…  I have encountered many of these people in my life and I tread lightly…  I have learned to sit back and watch a bit more, but there are times when  people come in thinking they have the perfect balance to calm the waves, only bubbles still spill over…   And then there are those who just start playing with the mixture too much and the waves of negativity blow over with force hitting everyone around them.  Some people just can’t control themselves.

Balance is the way of life.  Not everyone has it; some take a lifetime to figure it out and some just keep adding more vinegar, baking soda and dish soap hoping for the right balance but end up leaving a mess in their path and many people to clean it up along the way.

Life is messy, there is no doubt.  And we are literally ALL trying to do the best we can.  Sadly, it doesn’t always work and many are left in the wake of those who just aren’t getting it right.

This unbalanced mixture is the vinegar of our lives.  And the mess is how toxicity bleeds…

As a people, we can’t help but lean on each other.  There are so many times of our lives we need to reach out to friends for checks and balances; it’s only natural.  But when we are unbalanced and we check in with our friends and we share “our truth”, if we aren’t perfectly balanced…the details might be askew…The people who hear these details will take in the information as given and judge it accordingly … and they will share it with those in their circle … and so the shit show begins…

There is a very sound saying….

Believe HALF of what you see and NONE of what you hear.

So many peoples lives are destroyed by hearsay (unbalanced vinegar, baking soda, dish soap).  Gossip is the work of the devil. I have lived it and it is true.

Sitting on the silent side watching everything through a veil, it’s really interesting to me.  People speak and people listen… then people form judgements.  What I have noticed is those who form judgements did not follow the rules of believe half of what you see and NONE of what you hear.

I learned long ago that we can build people up or we can break people down.  As I have been broken many times over the course of my life, my desire is to build people up.  This means that I need to work on making myself a better person that I may not fall prey to the gossip of others.  Give people credit that what you heard might not be accurate …that there are two sides to every story… that someone’s vinegar is way stronger than their detergent…

Toxicity bleeds so easily …

My mom told me years ago… sweeten your words with sugar because someday you may have to eat them.  God knows I have eaten a lot!!

Be slow to judge.  Love more, hate less…

None of us are perfect and life didn’t come with a play book … we are all literally trying to do the best we can and NONE of us are getting out of this alive.

Some of my favorite quotes…

Grace is everything.
Kindness makes a difference
Love always wins
Hurt people Hurt people
Be the good you wish to see in the world…
What others think of you is none of your business
And finally…the high road hurts sometimes… but it’s always worth it because it shows your integrity.