Faith and sleep deprivation

Up at 5am again with total clarity! No wonder I’m tired all the time.

Every problem I have comes FLOODING forward and gets my mind reeling. Sometimes I feel like I’ll never unbury myself. I wonder if there is any hope.

The house has termites; the air conditioner doesn’t work and so we keep it on longer to run up an even higher bill just so we can sleep at night.

At 5am, my mind is sifting through ways to rectify all this. I told my mom yesterday that I was ready to sell the house and go to a simpler, cheaper place. She said, “Where would you go?” And honestly, I couldn’t think of a better place than here. Yikes……. Maybe there’s no way out?

I love the beaches, the close proximity to the mountains, the community….. I think we are stuck here.

And if that is the case, then something needs to change and fast!! And apparently, my 5am is the time to mull it over.

I remember the times I used to sleep through the night. I would bounce out of bed at 6:30 alert because I’actually slept…..

I’m determined to have that again.

I’m actually surprised at how many people don’t sleep through the night. And just out of curiosity; is it because of anxiety?

How many people actually have their life exactly where they want it to be? No worries, and no stress? Anyone? I’d like to hear from you and I would like to learn from you about how you got it right?

And as for the kids? Boy, that worry never goes away, does it?

I guess that’s why we have faith! It’s the glue that holds everything together. At least that is how I feel. I’m not outwardly religious like many of my friends, but I definitely have my beliefs and my faith. It’s the foundation of who I am.

Last night I got stuck on this show, “Long Island Medium”. She’s a real life medium who connects people with those who have passed over. As this lady approaches complete strangers and tells them their loved ones are trying to connect with them, I see the faces of the grieving and I see how they want to believe.

We do want to believe, don’t we!? We all just want something to make us feel better.

Sometimes when we feel hopeless, something randomly helps us out. And sometimes that stretches our belief system.

And sometimes that is a good thing.

Over the years, we have been stretched, but we have been blessed.

However, until the 5am wake up calls stop, I’ll have to lean on faith a bit.

As my mom always said, “This too shall pass, Dear”. And though she is correct; I just hope it all passes for the better.

Happy Monday