Ever sit doing something, and realize that the time you just spent working on a project was  – well, let’s say, NOT THE RIGHT TIME????

Ya…that was me last night!

Now, let me back up just a bit.  In yesterday’s blog, I mentioned how I lose gifts.  It happens all the time. I get overzealous and buy and then put them somewhere and forget where and inevitably end up with them months later….with no home.

The same happen with my holiday cards.  It’s crazy!!  I start out with the best of intentions – and then lose focus….and BAZINGA….. I forget where I left off.

So last night, I sat at the table, diligently collecting addresses and addressing cards (by HAND, thank you) as my daughter sat, struggling with Math.

Now, let me go back another minute…… decades ago, when I was doing homework, I was struggling.  And it was with math.  Something about Apples and Oranges and who the heck knows what else, because as soon as you throw fruit into a math equation, you might was well throw a pineapple at me in Norway.  It makes no sense whatsoever!!!

Needless to say, my inability to understand math frustrated my father (who TOTALLY got it by the way) and I was left scratching my head and feeling like an idiot!

Fast forward and I have given up on math altogether or even caring that it exists…….until I have a child who struggles with it!!!

And on this night, I’m sitting across from her – addressing envelopes – while she is struggling to keep her head above water in school…………

Now….which is more important???

We know the answer (we ALL know the answer), but what did I continue to do while my child sat across from me trying to make sense of all this stuff???  I addressed cards.

30 years ago, it might have been okay to throw my hands in the air.  Because I was alone and had only myself to blame.  But in this instance, I had someone dependent on me and I sat addressing HOLIDAY CARDS!!!

WHO DOES THAT????

Now, to my credit, I did have a friend helping my child for a bit!  But in the end, there were more problems to deal with and now it was just me.

And as I sit now, my head is hung in shame, because I realize I took the low road and made my child suffer in frustration and self loathing while I made sure I didn’t miss someone on my list.

It just goes to show me that I need to focus a bit more on what is closest to home.

No one will miss it if they don’t get my card.  But my child will feel less capable if she goes to school with incorrect homework and unsure how to move forward from here.

She is me.  I know how she feels.  And with that, WHY didn’t I drop what I was doing to focus on the fact that she needed me with whatever limited ability I could give her!

In the end, when she threw her homework in her book, I asked her to pull it out so I could check it.  And I was ashamed by why I saw.  She gave up.  She threw in some answers on the last few problems just so she could say she was done.

And when I corrected her on this, she was beyond fried.  And I was beyond ashamed.  I focused in the wrong direction.

We sat together for the last few minutes and I helped her through her last few problems.  When she went to bed, I think she felt at least an ounce better that her last problems were correct.  But I didn’t go over it all with her.  It was too late and way past bedtime.

I just sat and realized this night could have gone a whole lot better if only I’d put down my pen and looked in my childs eyes and realized that she needed ME!!

Funny that you could be sitting at the same table and be worlds apart!!!

Lesson Learned…..

Happy Thursday!