This is such an emotional time of year.  A time of reflection, a time of transition.  Even if only from one school year to the next, it’s a time fraught with reconciliation and decision.  It’s hard not to feel the pressure of what’s to come.  We all want the best in life and we are all so afraid to make the wrong decision.  It can truly be heartwrenching at times.

Recently, I was forced to look at my kids and decide what was best.  I was forced to make a choice that was completely out of my comfort zone. And today I shed tears of both joy and sorrow……

Next year both my girls will attend different high schools.  It was a decision we didn’t make easily, but over the last few months it became apparent to me that a change had to happen.  And as a result, I had to fight for what I felt was best.

As a mother, you find yourself in crazy situations you would NEVER wish to be in.  But they happen, and you deal with them.

I’d love to go into detail, but you’d be bored out of your mind.  The lesson here is my gut whispered…and I had to listen.  And even though I got the answer I was hoping for, I still cried my eyes out like a baby, because it was sooooo harrrrddd!!!

Being a parent SUCKS!!  YES…it has its rewards.  But it’s exhausting.  You are put in positions you would NEVER elect to be in, and you push forward until you get through.  And when you do, you think you are done…until the next time you find yourself in yet another situation.

What I have learned from my recent battle is, victory doesn’t always feel good.  Not at first, anyway.  Sometimes it rips your heart out.

I learned that sometimes to do the right thing, you have to literally put yourself on the line and bare all to those to whom you are at their mercy.  Thankfully for me, I don’t hide much and I always feel at peoples mercy, but it’s still hard!

I learned that my gut has been talking to me and I have been ignoring it.  And I learned that my gut is a force to be reckoned with.

I learned that there are many angels out there who will give you wings to fly.  And sometimes they are the most UN-suspecting people around you….

I learned that YOU WILL NOT DIE by making a wrong decision.  And that some decisions, if made wrong, become great lessons in your life.

I learned that to be VULNERABLE shows you are STRONG……  We are ALL in this together and NO ONE gets out alive!

I learned that if you push yourself just a little bit…you WILL be rewarded…even if it’s only to give you a lesson in life!

I learned that if you lean on your friends, they will truly be there for you.

I learned that strangers can be the kindest people of all….if you are truly honest in who you are.

I learned that fear is my greatest enemy and I need to fight it whenever possible.  It will limit me every chance it gets.

I learned that so many people feel the same way I do.  They are just afraid to say it because they feel alone.

I learned that “NO” isn’t always no…sometimes you just have to ask the question differently.

I have learned that you can feel victorious and empty at the same time.

I have learned it’s worth it to stand up for what you believe in.

But I have mostly learned that honesty is the best policy no matter how hard it may be.

Every day of our life has the potential to be our best or our worst.  It’s all in how you look at things.  Life isn’t easy, and many times we are forced to make decisions we never thought we’d have to make. But these things happen for a reason.  We are forced to look at our life and realize that complacency isn’t an option.  We NEED to grow.

I am thankful for these moments, because without them, I’d stay in my pajamas with my hair in a ponytail and say “no thanks” to every opportunity that passed my way, because it’s easier than making a decision.

Life isn’t about EASY…it’s about LEARNING……and GROWING…

I’m thankful for my opportunities to grow, even though I may cry my eyes out in the process.  At least I feel I made a difference.  Even if only in the eyes of my child.