The Right to Choose

Life is great!  Really it is.  I swear it…. I have no issues in my life and I’m always happy…..

Oh wait…. scratch that… I have two teenagers in the house.  And not just ANY teenagers…I have two GIRLS…. Yes, you may start praying for me now.

Only, I have to be honest.  So far it’s been pretty smooth sailing.  I thank my lucky stars every day!  Recently, one of my daughters told me that she was really happy we have been spending so much time together.  That she has been….wait for it…. ENJOYING my company!  You could have knocked me over with a feather.  I was truly over the moon.

All that said, it hasn’t really been all smooth sailing for them.  After all, they are teenagers.  Probably the worst, most insecure time of your life!  Your body goes through changes that are pretty gross; you start realizing there is a lot of competition out there for boyfriends/girlfriends.  Your once completely secure and innocent friendships start falling apart one thread at a time, and it’s all you can do to get through the day sometimes.!

NOPE, I wouldn’t go back for ANYTHING!! BUT…my girls have something on their side that others don’t….. ME!

…………..

sorry, I had to stop laughing before I continued.

Both of my girls are going through something right now where they need my guidance.  They may not want to hear it from ME….but as I’m a girl who’s life was full of drama, I totally get what they are going through.  And both of their situations are unique to them.

It’s a growing of age thing.

As I’m trying to sort out how to help them best, I realized that the answer for both of them is exactly the same….. Their right to CHOOSE!

I think as we age, we forget the power that we have.  And this is the power over ourselves.  We cannot change what other people do, but we can change OUR response to each situation and therefore become stronger and more empowered.

But what naturally happens, not only to kids, but to us all, is we let outside influences creep in and create doubt.

Have you heard the saying, “Only the Strong Survive?”  And “Survival of the Fittest”….well, this kind of falls on the same line.  The strong ones create doubt in the weaker minded.  And the weaker minded start questioning themselves and if they don’t hold to their resolve, they let others choose for them.

I speak from a followers perspective.  I’m a total follower.  I do SO much better when someone tells me what to do, rahter than having to figure it out on my own.

Now, I’m not totally helpless, don’t get me wrong.  I’m just lazy and don’t really want to make decisions.

That said, please know, if you are in my life and you cross the line on my solid beliefs….we WILL have words!  I don’t put up with crap and everyone in my life knows it.  I have made other people’s children cry for treating me with disrespect.  And if the parents want to call me out on it, I’m totally fine with that.  But more often than not, I get a “Thank you!”

People WANT to be held accountable. It’s the little shits who are given everything that have no respect and don’t really care how they impact others.  And it’s THOSE people (among some lesser offenders) that we need to protect ourselves from and educate our children about.

We have the right to choose at any given time of the day.  Even if we choose to do nothing at all, that’s still a choice.

What my lessons to my kids are on a regular basis is, “Just sit back and watch what happens”.  People are awesome, they never disappoint.  I can tell based on ones actions where they will end up down the road.  And I never stop being giddy when I show my kids that I NAILED it!

But what I need to focus on more, right now, is that my kids need to understand that they know what is expected of them from a family standpoint.  We communicate a LOT in this family.  Hubs has his bits of wisdom as well and we have no qualms about talking any subject with these girls.

I had a friend once who was one of MANY children, and her mother would say to her when she left the house every day, “You KNOW who YOU are!”… Damn I love that story!

I think many of us let doubt creep in and we forget who we are.

Sadly, teenagers are still finding out who they are.  And with all the varied influences from their peers, they get easily confused.  It’s our job as parents to keep them grounded!

I’m proud to say that my youngest daughter brings out the best in people.  She has no idea she has such a gift.  Two of her closests friends mothers contacted me on separate occasions telling me that they love who their kid is when they are around my daughter.  That they are truly themselves, where they tend to change with other friends around.  You can imagine the tears streaming down my face with pride.

Communication is the best ammunition against doubt.  Last night I had to literally threaten my daughter to talk to me because she was in full tears, distraught with school friend drama.  She went from thrashing to get away from me, to sitting curled up on the couch spilling everything.

Teenagers want to pull away.  And to a degree you need to let them so they can grow and fall on their own.  But never stop watching them for when they are truly needing you!

I have the privilege today to have a “fireside chat” with some of my daughters friends.  I’m picking them up and taking them to the beach to sit and pow wow about what is going on their lives.  The parents of these girls were happy to hand them over.

I have told many a teenage girl that I’m here for them.  I will talk to any kid at any time and most don’t hesitate to contact me.

We are a village and we need to watch out for our own.

Teach your kids they have the power within them to make the best choices for themselves. Teach your kids they have the power to stand up for their friends.  None of us are getting out of this alive, so let’s make it a group effort to get out stronger and more empowered!

And if you are afraid to talk to your kids, send them my way.  But be prepared that I don’t sugar coat.  Lifes too short for that crap!